What did the mother broom say to the baby broom?

It's time to go to sweep.
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What has a head but no body?

A nail.
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How many alto sax players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five: one to handle the bulb and four to contemplate how David Sanborn would've done it.
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How can you get four suits for a dollar?


Buy a deck of cards.
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Why did the dog cross the road twice?

He was trying to fetch a boomerang
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I said to this train driver "I want to go to Paris". He said "Eurostar?"

I said, "I've been on telly but I'm no Dean Martin".
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What's the difference between a vacuum cleaner and a lawyer on a motorcycle?

The vacuum cleaner has the dirt bag on the inside.
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How many mystery writers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two — one to screw it most of the way in and the other to give it a surprise twist at the end.
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How do you catch a squirrel?

Climb up a tree and act like a nut
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How do you get a trumpet to sound like a french horn?

Put your hand in the bell and play a lot of wrong notes.

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