What did the mother broom say to the baby broom?

It's time to go to sweep.
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What do ghosts use to wash their hair?

Shamboo!
Frankenstein: Witch can you make me a lemonade?
Witch: Poof you are a lemonade!
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How can you tell when a lawyer is lying?

Their lips are moving.
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What are the 10 letters of the pirate alphabet?

Aye, Aye, Arr and the Seven C's
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What does a cat say when somebody steps on
its tail?

Me-ow
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When should you buy a bird?

When it's going cheep!

Did you hear the one about the crow and the telephone pole?
He wanted to make a long distance caw.
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Why did the farmer wear one boot to town?

Because he heard there would be a 50% chance of snow!
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Why do chemists enjoy working with ammonia?

Because it's pretty basic stuff.
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Why shouldn't Donald Trump rag on illegal immigrants?

Because an undocumented worker has been living on his head for the past 2 decades!
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Two aerials meet on a roof - fall in love - get married.

The ceremony was rubbish - but the reception was brilliant.

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