What did the mother broom say to the baby broom?

It's time to go to sweep.
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What do you get if you cross an elephant and a kangaroo?

Big holes all over Australia!
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How many Stanford professors does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One to write a paper claiming that light is a pig whitey invention, one to organize a Darkness Studies program, and one hundred to protest the Diablo Canyon Nuclear Generating Station.
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How can you tell is a singer is at your door?

They can't find the key, and they never know when to come in.
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El Chapo has offered $100 million dollars for Trumps body, dead or alive.

I guess that finally answers the question about how much Donald Trump is actually worth.
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How many televangelists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. Televangelists screw in motels.
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What did the frog say when he heard "time flies when you are having fun?"

Time is fun when you're having flies
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I’ve never gone to a gun range before.

I decided to give it a shot!
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What is a horse's favorite sport?

Stable tennis
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How many investment brokers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to take out the bulb and drop it, and the other to try and sell it before it crashes.
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