What did the mother broom say to the baby broom?

It's time to go to sweep.
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I'll tell you what I love doing more than anything: trying to pack myself in a small suitcase.

I can hardly contain myself.

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What do you get if Bach dies and is reincarnated as twins?

A pair of Re-Bachs.

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What has one horn and gives milk?

A milk truck.
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How many teamsters does it take to change a light bulb?

``Twelve. Ya got a problem with that?''
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I bought some shoes off of a drug dealer. I don't know what he laced them with

but I've been trippin' all day.
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Where did the music teacher leave her keys?

In the piano!

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Why do cows wear bells?

Because their horns don't work.

There were two cows in a field. The first cow said "moo" and the second cow said "baaaa." The first cow asked the second cow, "why did you say baaaa?" The second cow said, "I'm learning a foreign language."
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Once there was a family called the Biggers. There was Mr. Bigger, Mrs. Bigger, and their son. Who was bigger, Mr. Bigger or his son?

His son, because he's a little Bigger!
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What did the peanut say to the walnut?

Nothing. Nuts can't talk.
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