What did the mother broom say to the baby broom?

It's time to go to sweep.

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When is it bad luck to be followed by a black cat?

When you're a mouse.
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Why does a giraffe have such a long neck?

Because his feet stink

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A sandwich walks into a bar.

The barman says "Sorry we don't serve food in here"

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Why did the bird get a ticket?

It broke the law of gravity!

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What is the most important rule in chemistry?

Never lick the spoon!
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What's the difference between a dead skunk in the road and a dead lawyer in the road?

There are skid marks in front of the skunk.
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What has four legs and goes "Oom, Oom"?

A cow walking backwards

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Why are Muslims worried about Trumps immigration plans?

Once you deport Juan you deport Jamal.
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What's 182 feet tall and made out of pepperoni and cheese?

The leaning tower of Pizza.
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