What did the mother broom say to the baby broom?

It's time to go to sweep.
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What do you call lending money to a bison?

A buff-a-loan
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Why are elephants wrinkled?

Because they don't fit on a ironing board
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Trump: "It's not a toupee,

I just found the Bush that Jeb lost."
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What's the difference between an accountant and a lawyer?

Accountants know they're boring.
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Kim Kardashian is saddled with a huge arse.

but enough about Kanye West.
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Earlier this year I saw The Theory of Everything – loved it.

Should've been called Look Who's Hawking, that's my only criticism.
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What's black and white and red all over?

A newspaper!
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What is very funny and makes dogs itch?

The Flea Stooges!
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Why did Mickey Mouse get whacked in the head?

coz Donald ducked
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