What did the mother broom say to the baby broom?

It's time to go to sweep.
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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How many engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

First they have to agree on which is better; the analog bulb or a digital bulb.
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What do you call a man with a rubber toe?

Roberto.
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What did Donald Trump say to the birthday boy?

"Let me see your birth certificate".
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What did the Cinderella fish wear to the ball?

Glass flippers.
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I used to work in a shoe recycling shop.

It was sole destroying.
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Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?

It's fine, he woke up.
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I'll tell you what I love doing more than anything: trying to pack myself in a small suitcase.

I can hardly contain myself.

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How many astronomers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Astronomers prefer the dark.
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