What did the mother broom say to the baby broom?

It's time to go to sweep.
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What did one ion say to the other?

I've got my ion you.
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I just watched a debate as to which cartoons were better- Disney or Warner Bros.

I have to say it got very animated.
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What is as big as an elephant but weighs nothing?

Its shadow
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I tried nutella on some salmon

got salmonella.
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What do lawyers wear in court?

Lawsuits.
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A young blonde woman is distraught because she fears her husband is having an affair, so she goes to a gun shop and buys a handgun. The next day she comes home to find her husband in bed with a beautiful redhead. She grabs the gun and holds it to her own head. The husband jumps out of bed, begging and pleading with her not to shoot herself.

The blonde responds to the husband, "Shut up...you're next!"
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How does a penguin build it's house?

Igloos it together.
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What do you get when you cross the Godfather with a lawyer?

An offer you can't understand
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How many guitar players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five. One to change the bulb and eleven to say they could do it faster.

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