What did the mother broom say to the baby broom?

It's time to go to sweep.
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Why can't lawyers do NMR?

Bar magnets have poor homogeneity.
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What do you call a dinosaur that smashes everything in its path?

Tyrannosaurus wrecks.
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What do you call a cold dog sitting on a bunny?

A chili dog on a bun.
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What has four legs, a trunk, and sunglasses?

A mouse on vacation.
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How many WASPs does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Silly, WASPs don't screw in a light bulb, they screw in a hot tub.
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"I said to the Gym instructor "Can you teach me to do the splits?" He said, "How flexible are you?"

I said, "I can't make Tuesdays"

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How many football players does it take to change a light bulb?

The entire team! And they all get a semester's credit for it!
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Why do seagulls fly over the sea?

Because if they flew over the bay, they'd be baygulls!
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What is a shark's favorite sandwich?

Peanut butter and jellyfish.
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