What did the mother broom say to the baby broom?

It's time to go to sweep.
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What is only a small box but can weigh over a hundred pounds?

A scale.
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What is the difference between a car and a bull?

A car only has one horn.
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How many militarists does it take to change a light bulb?

1,000,001: One to change the bulb and 1,000,000 to rebuild civilization to the point where they need light bulbs again.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a vampire?

A vampire only sucks blood at night.
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Why is a skeleton so mean?

He doesn't have a heart.
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What is a parents favorite Christmas carol?

Silent night!
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What kind of dogs do chemists have?

Laboratory Retrievers
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What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car?

Carlos.
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What's black and white and red all over?

A sunburnt zebra.
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