What did the mother broom say to the baby broom?

It's time to go to sweep.
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How many actors does it take to screw in a light bulb?

100: One to do it and ninety-nine to say "I could've done that."
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A duck, a skunk and a deer went out for dinner at a restaurant one night.

When it came time to pay, the skunk didn't have a scent, the deer didn't have a buck so they put the meal on the duck's bill.
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How Many lead guitarist does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They just steal somebody else's light.
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Who makes the best cake on a baseball team?

The batter.
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What is very funny and makes dogs itch?

The Flea Stooges!
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Why did the boy take a ruler to bed?

To see how long he slept.
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What's the difference between Donald Trump and Ronald Reagan?

If Trump gets Alzheimers his IQ will go up.
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What do you call a pig who knows karate?

Porkchop
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Why did Mickey Mouse get whacked in the head?

coz Donald ducked
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