What did the mother broom say to the baby broom?

It's time to go to sweep.
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What do you get if you enroll in a liberal arts program and the only subject you do well in is music?

A natural major.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a liar?

The pronunciation.
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What do you get when you cross a Cocker Spaniel,
a Poodle and a ghost?

A cocker poodle boo.
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Interesting story, the guy who helped me learn algebra never farted around anyone.

I mean he did say he was a private tutor.
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Why did the dinosaur cross the road?

The chicken wasn't around yet.
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So I went to the Chinese restaurant and this duck came up to me with a red rose and says "Your eyes sparkle like diamonds".

I said, "Waiter, I asked for a-ROMATIC duck".
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How many assholes does it take to change a light bulb?

None; assholes never see the light anyway.
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Why did the cow cross the road?

To get to the udder side.
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Which 2 food groups make up Donald Trumps diet?

Meat and Democrats!
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