What did the mother broom say to the baby broom?

It's time to go to sweep.
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What did the rug say to the floor?

Don't move, I've got you covered.
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Two aerials meet on a roof - fall in love - get married.

The ceremony was rubbish - but the reception was brilliant.

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How many Carl Sagans does it take to change a light bulb?

Billllyuns and billllyuns. Light bulbs are part of the interstellar "goo" that pervades our universe; they are star stuff.
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How is Donald Trump going to create middle class jobs?

By paying them to cheer for him during campaign events.
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What is a pirate's favorite's fish?

A swordfish
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What's the name of the archeologist that works at Scotland Yard?

Sherlock Bones.
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What did the Donald tell an illegal immigrant who was trying to put out a fire at Trump Tower?

No way Hose A.
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There was an explosion at a cheese factory in France...

all that was left was de brie.
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What did the porcupine say to the cactus?

Is that you mommy?
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