What did the mother broom say to the baby broom?

It's time to go to sweep.
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How many cops does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. It turned itself in.
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How many Trumpet players does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one. But he'll leave a big puddle of spit on the floor underneath him.
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What did Tennessee?

The same thing Arkansas.
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What is a tree's favorite drink?

Root beer.
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What do you call a song sung in an automobile?

A cartoon.
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What do you call a movie about Donald Trump, Bernie Madoff, and Kenneth Lay?

The League of Extraordinary Con Men.
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What happens when spectroscopists are idle?

They turn from notating nuclear spins to notating unclear puns.
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What do you call lending money to a bison?

A buff-a-loan
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What's black and white, black and white, black and white and green?

Three skunks fighting over a pickle

First dog: My master calls me Furball. How about you?
Second Dog: My master calls me Sitboy
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