What did the mother broom say to the baby broom?

It's time to go to sweep.
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How do you stop an elephant from charging?

Take away his credit card
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What did the peanut say to the walnut?

Nothing. Nuts can't talk.
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What do you get from a cow at the North Pole?

Ice cream.
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How many fatalists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

What does it matter? we're all gonna die anyway.
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How do you stop a dog barking in the back seat of a car?

Put him in the front seat.
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There were 10 cats in a boat and one jumped out. How many were left?

None, because they were copycats
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Why was the cat afraid of a tree?

Because of the bark
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Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.

That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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What do you get from a cow at the North Pole?

Ice cream.
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