What did the mother broom say to the baby broom?

It's time to go to sweep.
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Why did the skeleton cross the road?

To get to the body shop.
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What type of cars do elves drive?

Toy-otas.
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Kim Kardashian is saddled with a huge arse.

but enough about Kanye West.
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What do you call a king who is only 12 inches tall?

A ruler.
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Why did the cookie go to the Doctor?

Because he was feeling crumby.
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Why was the math book sad?

It had too many problems.
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What do you call a cat sitting on the beach on Christmas Eve?

Sandy Claws.
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A small piece of sodium that lived in a test tube fell in love with a Bunsen burner. "Oh Bunsen, my flame," the sodium pined. "I melt whenever I see you,"

The Bunsen burner replied, "It's just a phase you're going through."
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I tried nutella on some salmon

got salmonella.
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