What did the necktie say to the hat?

You go on ahead. I'll hang around for a while.

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How many junkies does it take to screw in a light bulb?

``Oh wow, is it like dark, man?''

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What do you call a cold dog sitting on a bunny?

A chili dog on a bun.

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Helium walks into a bar,
The bar tender says "We don't serve noble gasses in here."

Helium doesn't react.
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What do dinosaurs and decent lawyers have in common?

They're both extinct.
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I'm on a whiskey diet.

I've lost three days already.

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What do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question?

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What is the name of 007's Eskimo cousin?

Polar Bond.
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What's the difference between in-laws and outlaws?

Outlaws are wanted.
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Where do all the letters sleep?

In the alphabed.

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