What did the number 0 say to number 8?

Nice belt!
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What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a red car?
A red carnation.
What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a pink car?
A pink car-nation.
What would the country be called if everyone in it lived in their cars?

An in-car-nation.
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What did Delaware?

A New Jersey.
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How many economists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to assume the ladder and one to change the bulb.

A': None. If the government would just leave it alone, it would screw itself in.
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What kind of shoes does a pedophile wear?

White vans.
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Why couldn't the bicycle stand up by itself?

It was two tired.
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What did the little girl say when she had to choose between a tricycle and a candy bar?

"Trike or Treat"?
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Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly. But when they lit a fire in the craft, it sank,

proving once and for all that you can't have your kayak and heat it.

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How many Bell Labs vice presidents does it take to change a light bulb?

That's proprietary information. The answer is available from AT&T on payment of license fee (binary only).
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How did the butcher introduce his wife?

Meet Patty.
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