What did the number 0 say to number 8?

Nice belt!
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Why did they kick cinderella off the baseball team?

She kept running away from the ball.
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Why did the dog cross the road twice?

He was trying to fetch a boomerang
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How do you wake up Lady Gaga?

You Poke her face.

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What element is a girl's future best friend?

Carbon.
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What kind of cats like to go bowling?

Alley cats.
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What did Michael Jackson tell the little boy?

"The way you make me feel, it really turns me on!"
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What does Melania see in Donald Trump?

"Ten billion dollars and high cholesterol!"
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What is the difference between a car and a bull?

A car only has one horn.
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Why did the poultry farmer become a school teacher?

So he could grade his eggs.
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