What did the number 0 say to number 8?

Nice belt!
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What do you call a cow with no legs?

Ground beef.
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How are an apple and a lawyer alike?

They both look good hanging from a tree.
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What do you do if your dog chews a dictionary?

Take the words out of his mouth
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How many Microsoft executives does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Bill Gates will just redefine Darkness® as the industry standard.
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How do you know Donald Trump is talking to you?

Cause your the only one Hair.
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Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.

That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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What do have when a lawyer is buried up to his neck in sand?

Not enough sand.
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I'll call you later.

Don't call me later, call me Dad.
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What do you call a man with a rubber toe?

Roberto.
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