What did the octopus say to his girlfriend when he proposed?

Can I have your hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand in marriage?
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How many professors does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one, but they get three tech. reports out of it.
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What is Donald Trump "really" trying to do?

Make America Hate Again.
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Why was the boy sitting on his watch?

Because he wanted to be on time.
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What is Donald Trumps favorite song?

ICE ICE Baby......
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So I went to the Chinese restaurant and this duck came up to me with a red rose and says "Your eyes sparkle like diamonds".

I said, "Waiter, I asked for a-ROMATIC duck".
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What is a ghost's favorite pie?

Booberry pie!
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"I said to the Gym instructor "Can you teach me to do the splits?" He said, "How flexible are you?"

I said, "I can't make Tuesdays"

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Why did the singer climb a ladder?

She wanted to reach the high notes!

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