What did the octopus say to his girlfriend when he proposed?

Can I have your hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand in marriage?
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Why did the man take a pencil to bed?

Because he wanted to draw the curtains!
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What do you call the best butter on the farm?

A goat.
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What do Santa's elves learn in school?

The Elfabet.
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"I went to the zoo the other day, there was only one dog in it,

it was a shitzu."
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Why was the ant so confused?

Because all his uncles were "ants"!
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What has 4 wheels, gives milk, and eats grass.

A cow on a skateboard.
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me!
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Why did the calendar write its will?

Its days were numbered.
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