What did the octopus say to his girlfriend when he proposed?

Can I have your hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand in marriage?
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Why was the mole of oxygen molecules excited when he walked out of the singles bar?

He got Avogadro's number!
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What do you call a public servant who doesn't take crap from Republicans or Democrats?

Donald Trump.
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What was the farmer doing on the other side of the road?

He was catching all the chickens!
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What did one volcano say to the other?

I lava you.
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Why is tennis such a loud game?

Because each player raises a racquet.
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Where do you learn to make banana splits?

In sundae school.
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Why was the boy sitting on his watch?

Because he wanted to be on time.
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How is Donald Trump going to shut down the Department of Education?

By renaming it Trump University.
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