What did the one penny say to the other penny?

We make perfect cents.
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Why shouldn't Donald Trump rag on illegal immigrants?

Because an undocumented worker has been living on his head for the past 2 decades!
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What do you call a dinosaur that wears a cowboy hat and boots?

Tyrannosaurus Tex.
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How do you catch a tame bird?

The tame way, unique up on it!
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Do you know how many musicians it takes to change a light bulb?

No, but hum a few bars and I'll fake it.
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What kind of cat should you never play games with?

A cheetah
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What did the teddy bear say when it was offered dessert?

No thank you, I'm stuffed.
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How many freelance biotechnologists does it take to change a light bulb?

One; she designs the bulb to crawl up the wall, unscrew the old one, and screw itself in.
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What did the sardine call the submarine?

A can of people.
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Why do they bury lawyers under 20 feet of dirt?

Because deep down, they're really good people.
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