What did the one penny say to the other penny?

We make perfect cents.
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A neutron walks into a bar. He asks the bartender, "How much for a beer?"

The bartender offers him a warm smile and says, "For you, no charge".
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What kind of mouse does not eat, drink, or even walk?

A computer mouse.
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A Freudian slip is when you mean to say one thing

but you accidentally say Mother.
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Why do seagulls fly over the sea?

Because if they flew over the bay, they'd be baygulls!
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Why does cheese look sane?

Because everything else on the plate is crackers.
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What does the toast wear to bed?

Jammies!
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What do you call a pig who knows karate?

Porkchop
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What do you call a Disney Princess that supports Donald Trump?

Snow White Supremacist.
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Which is the most religious cheese?

Emmental...it's very hol(e)y...
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