What did the one penny say to the other penny?

We make perfect cents.
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I think I want a job cleaning mirrors.


It's something I could really see myself doing.
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What did the flag say to the pole?

Nothing, it just waved.
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What can you hold without ever touching it?

A conversation.
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What happens when spectroscopists are idle?

They turn from notating nuclear spins to notating unclear puns.
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What do you call a Disney Princess that supports Donald Trump?

Snow White Supremacist.
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A proton and a neutron are walking down the street.
The proton says, "Wait, I dropped an electron help me look for it."

The neutron says "Are you sure?" The proton replies "I'm positive."
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What do sea monsters eat for lunch?

Fish and ships.
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Why didn't the skeleton cross the road?

He didn't have any guts!
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What's the difference between Donald Trump and Ronald Reagan?

If Trump gets Alzheimers his IQ will go up.
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