What did the one penny say to the other penny?

We make perfect cents.
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I know loads of jokes about cash machines,

I just can't think of one atm.
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Why don't aliens eat clowns?

Because they taste funny!
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El Chapo has offered $100 million dollars for Trumps body, dead or alive.

I guess that finally answers the question about how much Donald Trump is actually worth.
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Why does Snoop Dogg carry an umbrella?

Fo Drizzle!

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How many drummers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They have machines to do that now.
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What do you call a loony spaceman?

An astronut.
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What cheese do you use to coax a bear out of the woods with?

Camembert.
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Why did the tomato blush?

Because he saw the salad dressing!
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How do you make Holy water?

Take regular water and just boil the hell out of it.
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