What did the one penny say to the other penny?

We make perfect cents.
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A mexican magician tells the audience he will disappear on the count of 3. He says, "Uno, dos..." and then

*poof* … he disappeared without a tres!
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What do you call a dinosaur that never gives up?

A try and try and try-ceratops
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Why would an elephant paint its toenails different colors?

To hide in a bag of M&M's.
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What did one eye say to the other?

Between you and me, something smells.
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How many New Yorkers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None 'o yo' fuckin' business!
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What happens when frogs park illegally?

They get toad.
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What's worse than a worm in your apple?

Half a worm.
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What do you call a dinosaur that smashes everything in its path?

Tyrannosaurus wrecks.
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Where do horses live?

In the neigh-borhood.
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