What did the one penny say to the other penny?

We make perfect cents.
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Why did the doughnut shop close?

The owner got tired of the (w)hole business!
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How many Mensans does it take to tell Mensa light bulb jokes?

Five. One to tell the joke and one to get it.
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There were two cows in a paddock. One of the cows says, "moo"

and the other one says, "That's what I was going to say."
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Why did the surfer think the sea was his friend?

Because it gave him a big wave!
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What did the picture say to the wall?

I've been framed!
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Why was the mouse afraid of the water?

Catfish
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There's a fine line between a numerator and denominator.

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Why does the law society prohibit sex between lawyers and their clients?

To prevent clients from being billed twice for essentially the same service.
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Why did the boy take a ruler to bed?

To see how long he slept.
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