What did the one penny say to the other penny?

We make perfect cents.
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What do you call a gorilla wearing earmuffs?

Anything you like, he can't hear you.
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What is as big as an elephant but weighs nothing?

Its shadow
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How many Italians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

I dunno exactly, but my brother's girlfriend's father's boss's secretary's sister's next-door neighbors' priest's cousin's union shop steward's uncle's Knights Of Columbus club Sergeant-of-Arms's nephew's best friend did it real cheap for me once.
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What did the little boy's mom say when he asked her to buy him shoes for gym?

"Tell Jim to buy his own shoes".
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Why do pandas like old movies?

Because they are black and white.
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Why did the girl throw the butter out the window?

She wanted to see a butterfly.
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It's Hans free.
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What did Cinderella say to the photographer?

Some day my prints will come.
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What is the quietest kind of a dog?

A hush puppy.
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