What did the one penny say to the other penny?

We make perfect cents.
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What do you get when you drop a piano into a mine shaft?

A Flat Miner

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What has a head but no body?

A nail.
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What happens when spectroscopists are idle?

They turn from notating nuclear spins to notating unclear puns.
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A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse. "But why?" they asked, as they moved off.

"because," he said "I can't stand chess nuts boasting in an open foyer."
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Why does cheese look sane?

Because everything else on the plate is crackers.
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How many Development Executives does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to take notes while the other screws it into the faucet.
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What did Cinderella say to the photographer?

Some day my prints will come.
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What does Melania see in Donald Trump?

"Ten billion dollars and high cholesterol!"
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What do you call a dinosaur that wears a cowboy hat and boots?

Tyrannosaurus Tex.
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