What did the one penny say to the other penny?

We make perfect cents.
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How many Ukrainians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None, because people who glow in the dark don't need light bulbs.

Note: Topical to the Chernobyl Reactor disaster of 1984.
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How do you make Halloween great again?

By carving a Trumpkin.
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Why did the sea monster eat five ships that were carrying potatoes?

No one can eat just one potato ship.
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How many Holocaust revisionists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None: they just deny that the bulb ever went out in the first place.
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What do you get if Bach dies and is reincarnated as twins?

A pair of Re-Bachs.

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How many big black monoliths does it take to change a light bulb?

Sorry, light bulbs are an evolutionary dead end.
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What do you call a cow that twitches?

Beef jerky
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I've got a friend who's fallen in love with two school bags,

he's bisatchel.

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What do you do when 50 zombies surround your house?

Hope it's Halloween!!
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