What did the one penny say to the other penny?

We make perfect cents.
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What's worse than a worm in your apple?

Half a worm.
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What is a frog's favorite year?

Leap Year
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Know how copper wire was invented?

Two lawyers were fighting over a penny.
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What do Santa's elves drive?

Minivans.
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How many (Generals/Politicians) does it take to change a light bulb?

1,000,001: One to change the bulb and 1,000,000 to rebuild civilization to the point where they need light bulbs again.
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Why did the pianist keep banging his head against the keys?

He was playing by ear

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Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.

That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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Why do chemists enjoy working with ammonia?

Because it's pretty basic stuff.
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Why was Cinderella thrown off the basketball team?

She ran away from the ball.
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