What did the one penny say to the other penny?

We make perfect cents.
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How do you handle dangerous cheese?

Caerphilly.
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What is a cow's favorite place?

The mooseum.
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What do you do if your cat swallows your pencil?

Use a pen.
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How many bass clarinetists does it take to change a light bulb?

All of them
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What kind of pants do ghosts wear?

Boo-Jeans.
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What do you get if you cross an elephant and a kangaroo?

Big holes all over Australia!
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What is the difference between a pregnant woman and a light bulb?

You can unscrew a light bulb.
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I'm on a whiskey diet.

I've lost three days already.

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How do you make a goldfish old?

Take away the g
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