What did the one penny say to the other penny?

We make perfect cents.
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Why is b always cool?

Because it's between ac.
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What's black and white, black and white, black and white and green?

Three skunks fighting over a pickle

First dog: My master calls me Furball. How about you?
Second Dog: My master calls me Sitboy
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Want to hear a joke about construction?

I'm still working on it.
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Why was Cinderella thrown off the basketball team?

She ran away from the ball.
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What do you call a cold dog sitting on a bunny?

A chili dog on a bun.
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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Whenever I get to Edinburgh, I'm reminded of the definition of a gentleman.

It's someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
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What is the name of 007's Eskimo cousin?

Polar Bond.
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How many gorillas does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Only one, but it sure takes a shitload of light bulbs!
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