What did the one penny say to the other penny?

We make perfect cents.
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Where are sharks from?

Finland.
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What do you call a pig who knows karate?

Porkchop
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What did the bartender say when oxygen, hydrogen, sulfur, sodium, and phosphorous walked into his bar?

OH SNaP!
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Did you hear oxygen went on a date with potassium?

It went OK.
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Where does an elephant pack his luggage?

In his trunk
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What game do elephants play when riding in the back of a car?

Squash
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A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: "Ugh, that's the ugliest baby I've ever seen!" The woman walks to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her: "The driver just insulted me!"

The man says: "You go up there and tell him off. Go on, I'll hold your monkey for you."
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What did the judge say to the dentist?

Do you swear to pull the tooth, the whole tooth and nothing but the tooth?
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What did the farmer call the cow that would not give him any milk?

An udder failure.
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