What did the one penny say to the other penny?

We make perfect cents.
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How many music teachers does it take to screw in a light bulb??

None. music teachers can't afford lightbulbs.

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How many gods does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to hold the bulb and the other to rotate the planet.

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What do you call a fake noodle?

An impasta
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What do you get when you cross a blonde and a lawyer?

I don't know. There are some things even a blonde won't do.
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They're always telling me to live my dreams.

But I don't want to be naked in an exam I haven't revised for.
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Why did the scarecrow win an award?

Because he was outstanding in his field.
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How many professors does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one, but they get three tech. reports out of it.

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How does a penguin build it's house?

Igloos it together.
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What element is a girl's future best friend?

Carbon.
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