What did the one penny say to the other penny?

We make perfect cents.
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How many Executive Producers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Executive Producers don't screw in a light bulb, they screw in a hot tub.
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Making bad chemistry jokes because all the good ones Argon
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Why don't aliens eat clowns?

Because they taste funny!
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"I went to the zoo the other day, there was only one dog in it,

it was a shitzu."
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What part of a fish weighs the most?

The scales.
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What is as big as an elephant but weighs nothing?

Its shadow
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What day of the week tastes the best?

Sunday!
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How do you get a dog to stop digging in the garden?

Take away his shovel
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Earlier this year I saw The Theory of Everything – loved it.

Should've been called Look Who's Hawking, that's my only criticism.
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