What did the one penny say to the other penny?

We make perfect cents.
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Which candles burn longer, bee's wax or tallow?

Neither, they all burn shorter.
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What is a lion's favorite state?

Maine
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When are kids most likely to go to school?

When the door is open.
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How does Donald Trump plan on deporting 12 million illegal immigrants?

Juan by Juan.
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What do you call a gorilla wearing earmuffs?

Anything you like, he can't hear you.
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Why was the mole of oxygen molecules excited when he walked out of the singles bar?

He got Avogadro's number!
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Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?

Because he was caught tweeting on a test.
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What has 6 eyes but can't see?

3 blind mice.
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H2O is water and H2O2 is hydrogen peroxide. What is H2O4?

Drinking.
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