What did the one penny say to the other penny?

We make perfect cents.
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What's green and loud?

A froghorn.
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If you don't know what introspection is,

you need to take a long, hard look at yourself.
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What are lawyers good for?

They make used car salesmen look good.
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Why do ducks fly south?

Because it's too far to walk!
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Why should we call the President, Donald "Duck" Trump?

Because you better duck when he's pissed.
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What do you get if Bach dies and is reincarnated as twins?

A pair of Re-Bachs.

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What's round and bad-tempered?

A vicious circle.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a vampire?

A vampire only sucks blood at night.
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Why do chemists like nitrates so much?

They're cheaper than day rates.
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