What did the one penny say to the other penny?

We make perfect cents.
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What do you get when you plant a frog?

A cr-oak tree.
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How many Bluegrass musicians does it take to screw in a light bulb??

What's a light bulb?
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Want to hear a joke about construction?

I'm still working on it.
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Whenever I get to Edinburgh, I'm reminded of the definition of a gentleman.

It's someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
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What's gray, eats fish, and lives in Washington, D.C.?

The Presidential Seal.
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What did one magnet say to the other?

I find you very attractive.
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What type of cars do elves drive?

Toy-otas.
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Why do you bring fish to a party?

Because it goes good with chips.
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"I said to the Gym instructor "Can you teach me to do the splits?" He said, "How flexible are you?"

I said, "I can't make Tuesdays"

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