What did the one penny say to the other penny?

We make perfect cents.
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How many sopranos does it take to change a light bulb?

Three. One to climb the ladder while the second kicks the ladder out from under her. And the third to say, "I knew that was too high for you dear."
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What do Santa's elves learn in school?

The Elfabet.
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What is the easiest way to count a herd of cattle?

With a cowculator.
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What is King Arthur's favorite fish?

A swordfish
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What is green and pecks on trees?

Woody the Wood Pickle.
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What do you call two ants that run away to get married?

Ant-elopes!
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How many Trumpet players does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one. But he'll leave a big puddle of spit on the floor underneath him.
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I used to work in a shoe recycling shop.

It was sole destroying.
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How many Union Lighting Technicians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

It's not a bulb, it's a globe.
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