What did the one penny say to the other penny?

We make perfect cents.
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How do you know the economy is only getting worse?

On the latest episode of "Celebrity Apprentice", Donald Trump fired himself!
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What kind of shoes does a pedophile wear?

White vans.
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Where does an elephant pack his luggage?

In his trunk
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What do you call a cow that eats your grass?

A lawn moo-er.
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What do you use to tie saplings to a piano so the saplings won't blow away?

Root position cords.

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How many Bratzlaver Hasidim does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They will never find a bulb that burns as brightly as the old one.
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What does a calf become after it's 1 year old?

2 years old.

Cow: "Mooooove over"
Sheep: "Naaaaaaa."
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What is the difference between a car and a bull?

A car only has one horn.
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I asked the guy sitting next to me if he had any Sodium Hypobromite

He said NaBrO
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