What did the one penny say to the other penny?

We make perfect cents.
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What do you call a messy hippo?

A hippopota-mess
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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What kind of flower has lips?

Two-lips!
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I think I want a job cleaning mirrors.


It's something I could really see myself doing.
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Why did the scarecrow win an award?

Because he was outstanding in his field.
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How are doughnuts and golf alike?

They both have a hole in one!
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Who's richer — the butcher, the baker, or the candlestick maker?

The baker, because he has lots of dough.
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What's green and loud?

A froghorn.
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How many actors does it take to screw in a light bulb?

100: One to do it and ninety-nine to say "I could've done that."
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