What did the one penny say to the other penny?

We make perfect cents.
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What do you call a Disney Princess that supports Donald Trump?

Snow White Supremacist.
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What emotional disorder does a gas chromatograph suffer from?

Separation anxiety.
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How many U.S marines does it take to screw in a light bulb?

50. One to screw in the light bulb and the remaining 49 to guard him .
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If H20 is water, what is H204?

Drinking, bathing, washing, swimming, etc.
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What kind of dog always runs a fever?

A hot dog
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What day of the week tastes the best?

Sunday!
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Why does a giraffe have such a long neck?

Because his feet stink
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Did you hear about Michael Jackson's latest record?

"Feel the World."
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What's green and loud?

A froghorn.
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