What did the one penny say to the other penny?

We make perfect cents.
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What cheese do you use to coax a bear out of the woods with?

Camembert.
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A mexican magician tells the audience he will disappear on the count of 3. He says, "Uno, dos..." and then

*poof* … he disappeared without a tres!
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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to screw it in, and another to repent.

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga?

You Poke her face.

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What did the baby corn ask the mother corn?

Where is pop corn?
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Why did the Blonde stare at the Orange Juice carton?

Because it said CONCENTRATE.
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What has a head but no body?

A nail.
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What day of the week tastes the best?

Sunday!
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What do you call snake with no clothes on?

Snaked.
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