What did the one penny say to the other penny?

We make perfect cents.
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How do you know Donald Trump is talking to you?

Cause your the only one Hair.
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Why should we call the President, Donald "Duck" Trump?

Because you better duck when he's pissed.
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Where do sheep get their hair cut?

At the baa-baa shop.
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How many archaeologists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One team, but they'll label every piece of the old one, mark its location in the room, and write a detailed description before determining that it was used to store cornmeal.
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What kind of motorcycle does Santa ride?

Holly Davidson.
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What do you get when you cross a duck with a vampire?

Count Quackula!
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What did the porcupine say to the cactus?

Is that you mommy?
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How many cops does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. It turned itself in.
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How do you get a cello player to play in tune?

Tell him the key signature has 8 sharps.

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