What did the one penny say to the other penny?

We make perfect cents.
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Why would an elephant paint its toenails different colors?

To hide in a bag of M&M's.
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How many charismatics does it take to change a light bulb?

Three - one to cast the bulb into the outer darkness, and two to catch it when it falls.
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Why don't bears wear shoes?

What's the use, they'd still have bear feet
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What did one ion say to the other?

I've got my ion you.
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Why did the sea monster eat five ships that were carrying potatoes?

No one can eat just one potato ship.
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How many dull people does it take to change a light bulb?

One.
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What do you call cheese that isn't yours?

Nacho cheese.
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What do you call a mommy cow that just had a calf?

Decalfinated
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How many sopranos does it take to change a light bulb?

Three. One to climb the ladder while the second kicks the ladder out from under her. And the third to say, "I knew that was too high for you dear."
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