What did the one penny say to the other penny?

We make perfect cents.
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How do you get a dog to stop digging in the garden?

Take away his shovel
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Why did the elephant leave the circus?

He was tired of working for peanuts.
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I was in Tesco's and I saw this man and woman wrapped in a barcode.

I said, "Are you two an item?"

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Why do pandas like old movies?

Because they are black and white.
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What do you call the best butter on the farm?

A goat.
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What do you call cheese that isn't yours?

Nacho cheese.
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What is always hot in the refrigerator?

Chili
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How many dadaists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

To get to the other side.
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Why do ducks fly south?

Because it's too far to walk!
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