What did the one penny say to the other penny?

We make perfect cents.
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How do you fix a broken Tuba.

With a tuba glue.
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How many Executive Producers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Executive Producers don't screw in a light bulb, they screw in a hot tub.
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How many sound engineers does it take to change a light bulb

None, sound engineers don't do lights
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What goes 99 thump,99 thump,99 thump?

A centipede with a wooden leg.
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What does GOP stand for?

Grabs Our Pussy.
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A pair of eyebrows walked into a shop. The assistant asked, "Can I help you?"

The eyebrows replied, "no, we are just browsing"
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What's the difference between Donald Trump and Ronald Reagan?

If Trump gets Alzheimers his IQ will go up.
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What is the best thing to do if you find a gorilla in your bed?

Sleep somewhere else.
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What do you call a dog with a Rolex?

A watch dog.
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