What did the one penny say to the other penny?

We make perfect cents.
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A Freudian slip is when you mean to say one thing

but you accidentally say Mother.
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Where can you find a good lawyer?

In the cemetery
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How many skunks does it take to make a big stink?

A phew.
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Why are lawyers like nuclear weapons?

If one side has one, the other side has to get one. Once launched, they cannot be recalled. When they land, they screw up everything forever.
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What kind of potato chips fly?

Plane ones.
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What part of a fish weighs the most?

The scales.
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Why didn't the skeleton cross the road?

He didn't have any guts!
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What do you call a mommy cow that just had a calf?

Decalfinated
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What did the snowman say to the customer?

Have an ice day!
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