What did the one penny say to the other penny?

We make perfect cents.
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"Dyslexic man walks into a bra"
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My phone will ring at 2 in the morning, and my wife'll look at me and go, "Who's that calling at this time?' "I don't know!

If I knew that we wouldn't need the bloody phone!"

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What is the chemical formula for "coffee"?

CoFe2
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Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?

He got caught peeping on a test.
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What is worse then having one baby screaming?

Two babies screaming!
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How many Development Executives does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to take notes while the other screws it into the faucet.
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How does a penguin build it's house?

Igloos it together.
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There's two fish in a tank, and one says "How do you drive this thing?"
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What do you call a girl with a frog on her head?

Lilly.
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