What did the painter say to the wall?

I got you covered.
Canvas not available.

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A lorry-load of tortoises crashed into a trainload of terrapins,

What a turtle disaster

Canvas not available.

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What do you get when you cross a stream and a brook?

Wet feet.
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What do Santa's elves drink?

Minnesoda.
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Why did the sea monster eat five ships that were carrying potatoes?

No one can eat just one potato ship.
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Who did Frankenstein take to the dance?

His "ghoul" friend!
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Where does a ten ton elephant sit?

Anywhere it wants to
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What happened when the monster ate the electric company?

He was in shock for a week.
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Why did the doughnut shop close?

The owner got tired of the (w)hole business!
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How many plastic surgeons does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, but he'll also want to do something about your nose.
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