What did the peanut say to the elephant?

Nothing, peanuts don't talk.
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What happens when spectroscopists are idle?

They turn from notating nuclear spins to notating unclear puns.
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What did the necktie say to the hat?

You go on ahead. I'll hang around for a while.
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Red sky at night: shepherd’s delight.

Blue sky at night: day.
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Who's richer — the butcher, the baker, or the candlestick maker?

The baker, because he has lots of dough.
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There's two fish in a tank, and one says "How do you drive this thing?"
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What do you call a slow skier?

A slopepoke!
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What did the porcupine say to the cactus?

Is that you mommy?
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