What did the peanut say to the elephant?

Nothing, peanuts don't talk.
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What do Russians use for napkins?

Soviets
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What kind of balls do dragons play soccer with?

Fireballs.
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How many cops does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. It turned itself in.
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What do you call a smiling, sober, courteous person at a bar association convention?

The caterer.
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How does an attorney sleep?

First he lies on one side, then he lies on the other.
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Why did the surfer think the sea was his friend?

Because it gave him a big wave!
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What do you call a messy hippo?

A hippopota-mess
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