What did the peanut say to the elephant?

Nothing, peanuts don't talk.
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What did one titration say to the other?

"Let's meet at the endpoint."
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What do you call a dog with a Rolex?

A watch dog.
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Where do cars go for a swim?

At the carpool!
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Two chemists go into a restaurant.
The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O."

The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" -- and he died.
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What did one ion say to the other?

I've got my ion you.
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What can you put in a barrel to make it lighter?

Holes.
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What do you call a scared train?

A fright train!
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