What did the peanut say to the elephant?

Nothing, peanuts don't talk.
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Where do sheep get their hair cut?

At the baa-baa shop.
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What do Russians use for napkins?

Soviets
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How many Stuntmen does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Five. One to screw it in and four to tell him how bitchin' he looked doing it.
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What two things can you not have for breakfast?

Lunch and dinner.
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What did the guitarist do when his teacher told him to turn his amplifier on?

He caressed it softly and told it that he loved it

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Where did the music teacher leave her keys?

In the piano!

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What do you call two ants that run away to get married?

Ant-elopes!
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