What did the peanut say to the walnut?

Nothing. Nuts can't talk.
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What element is derived from a Norse god?

Thorium.
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Two chemists go into a restaurant.
The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O."

The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" -- and he died.
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What do camels use to hide themselves?

Camelflauge
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I would avoid the sushi if I was you.

It’s a little fishy.
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Why is Donald Trump always seen with Melania?

Because all his other wives support Hillary.
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What do you call a dinosaur in a car accident?

A tyrannosauraus wreck
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What do you call a bruise on a T-Rex?

A dino-sore
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What happens when you play Beethoven backwards?

He decomposes.

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