What did the peanut say to the walnut?

Nothing. Nuts can't talk.
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Why are elephants wrinkled?

Because they don't fit on a ironing board
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What's the difference between a tuba and a vacumn cleaner?

You have to turn one of them on before it sucks.

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Did you hear about Michael Jackson's latest record?

"Feel the World."
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What happens when you play Beethoven backwards?

He decomposes.

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What do you call lending money to a bison?

A buff-a-loan
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If H20 is water, what is H204?

Drinking, bathing, washing, swimming, etc.
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A pair of eyebrows walked into a shop. The assistant asked, "Can I help you?"

The eyebrows replied, "no, we are just browsing"
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What do you call a man with a rubber toe?

Roberto.
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