What did the peanut say to the walnut?

Nothing. Nuts can't talk.
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I know loads of jokes about cash machines,

I just can't think of one atm.
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How many musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and 17 to be on the guest list.
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What is black and white and red all over?

A skunk with a rash.
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What do you call a scared train?

A fright train!
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What is the world's longest punctuation mark?

The hundred yard dash.
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Why would an elephant paint its toenails different colors?

To hide in a bag of M&M's.
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Why did the dinosaur cross the road?

The chicken wasn't around yet.
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How many Real Men does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Real Men aren't afraid of the dark.
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