What did the pencil say to the paper?

I dot my i's on you!
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How do they serve smart hamburgers?

On honor rolls.
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Why was the vacationing doctor so mad?

He had no patients.
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What do you get when you cross a Cocker Spaniel,
a Poodle and a ghost?

A cocker poodle boo.
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Why was the mole of oxygen molecules excited when he walked out of the singles bar?

He got Avogadro's number!
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If minorities have the race card and women have the gender card, what do rednecks have?

The Trump Card
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What do you call the best butter on the farm?

A goat.
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What do you get when you plant a frog?

A cr-oak tree.
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What has four legs but never stands?

A Chair!
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What do cats and dogs call Santa Clause?

Santa paws!!!
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