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What did the pencil say to the paper?
I dot my i's on you!
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What day of the week tastes the best?
Sunday!
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Why does hamburger yield lower energy than steak?
Because it's in the ground state.
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What kind of fish is made out of 2 sodium atoms?
2 Na
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Why did Mozart kill his chickens?
Because they always ran around going "Bach! Bach! Bach!"
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How do you make a cello sound beautiful?
Sell it and buy a violin
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What's the only difference between Donald Trump and Bozo the Clown?
Bozo The Clown has real hair on his head.
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Did you hear about the restaurant on the moon?
Great food, no atmosphere.
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Why was the mole of oxygen molecules excited when he walked out of the singles bar?
He got Avogadro's number!
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Two chemists go into a restaurant.
The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O."
The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" -- and he died.
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