What did the pencil say to the paper?

I dot my i's on you!
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Four fonts walk into a bar

the barman says "Oi - get out! We don't want your type in here"

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What do you call a king who is only 12 inches tall?

A ruler.
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I stayed up all night because I wanted to see where the sun went,

and then it dawned on me.
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Why are there fences around a graveyard?

Because people are dying to get in!
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Why did the people not like the restaurant on the moon?

Because there was no atmosphere.
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A priest, a rabbi and a vicar walk into a bar.

The barman says, "Is this some kind of joke?"
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What is the most important subject a witch learns in school?

Spelling.
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How do you tell you're kissing a french horn player?

He/She keeps trying to stick their fist up your butt.

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What do you call a mommy cow that just had a calf?

Decalfinated
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