What did the picture say to the wall?

I've been framed.
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What did the little boy's mom say when he asked her to buy him shoes for gym?

"Tell Jim to buy his own shoes".

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What did the ghost say to the other ghost?

Do you believe in humans?
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How do you make a goldfish old?

Take away the g

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How many engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

First they have to agree on which is better; the analog bulb or a digital bulb.

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What do you call a parrot that flew away?

A polygon

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Why does the law society prohibit sex between lawyers and their clients?

To prevent clients from being billed twice for essentially the same service.
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Kim Kardashian is saddled with a huge arse.

but enough about Kanye West.
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What do Santa's elves learn in school?

The Elfabet.
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What has 4 wheels, gives milk, and eats grass.

A cow on a skateboard.

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