What did the picture say to the wall?

I've been framed.
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What did one ion say to the other?

I've got my ion you.
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What did the grape say when the elephant stepped on it?

It gave a little wine
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What do you call a mad elephant?

An earthquake.
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What element is derived from a Norse god?

Thorium.
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I know loads of jokes about cash machines,

I just can't think of one atm.
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What part of a fish weighs the most?

The scales.
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Why do some people have an instant aversion to banjo players?

It saves time in the long run.

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What 7 letters did Lizzy say when she opened the refrigerator and found it empty?

O I C U R M T
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Earlier this year I saw The Theory of Everything – loved it.

Should've been called Look Who's Hawking, that's my only criticism.
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