What did the picture say to the wall?

I've been framed.
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What did the bartender say when oxygen, hydrogen, sulfur, sodium, and phosphorous walked into his bar?

OH SNaP!
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I'll tell you what I love doing more than anything: trying to pack myself in a small suitcase.

I can hardly contain myself.

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What room does a ghost not need?

A living room!
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Why did the Blonde stare at the Orange Juice carton?

Because it said CONCENTRATE.
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How are elephants and trees alike?

They both have trunks
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I would avoid the sushi if I was you.

It’s a little fishy.
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How many sound engineers does it take to change a light bulb

None, sound engineers don't do lights
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How many Carl Sagans does it take to change a light bulb?

Billllyuns and billllyuns. Light bulbs are part of the interstellar "goo" that pervades our universe; they are star stuff.
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What is Claustrophobia?

The fear of Santa Claus.
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