What did the picture say to the wall?

I've been framed.
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What's the difference between a tick and a lawyer?

The tick falls off when you are dead.
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What do you give a lemon in distress?

Lemonade.
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What concert costs 45 cents?

50 cent featuring Nickelback

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Where does an elephant pack his luggage?

In his trunk
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What did the calculator say to the math student?

You can count on me!
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What do vampires take when they are sick?

Coffin drops!
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What is a cat's favorite breakfast?

Mice krispies
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Why are there fences around a graveyard?

Because people are dying to get in!
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What did the bartender say when oxygen, hydrogen, sulfur, sodium, and phosphorous walked into his bar?

OH SNaP!
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