What did the picture say to the wall?

I've been framed.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a liar?

The pronunciation.
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What did the ceiling say to the chandelier?

You're the only bright spot in my life.
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What did one hair say to the other?

It takes two to tangle!
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What kind of ties can't you wear?

Railroad ties.
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What's a light-year?

The same as a regular year, but with less calories.
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What do ghosts use to wash their hair?

Shamboo!
Frankenstein: Witch can you make me a lemonade?
Witch: Poof you are a lemonade!
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Which 2 food groups make up Donald Trumps diet?

Meat and Democrats!
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I’ve never gone to a gun range before.

I decided to give it a shot!
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Why did the doughnut shop close?

The owner got tired of the (w)hole business!
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