What did the picture say to the wall?

I've got you covered!
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How many football players does it take to change a light bulb?

The entire team! And they all get a semester's credit for it!

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What do you call a young army?

Infantry.
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What is the definition of a shame (as in "that's a shame")?

When a busload of lawyers goes off a cliff.

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I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport.

I’m just doing it for kicks.
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What emotional disorder does a gas chromatograph suffer from?

Separation anxiety.
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How does a pig go to hospital?

In a hambulance.

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What did the snail say when he got on the turtle's shell?

Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

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How many tenors does it take to change a light bulb?

Four. One to change the bulb and three to whine "It's too high"

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What is a frog's favorite year?

Leap Year

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