What did the picture say to the wall?

I've got you covered!
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Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.

That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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How many folk singers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to change the bulb, and one to write a song about how good the old light bulb was.
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What do you use to tie saplings to a piano so the saplings won't blow away?

Root position cords.

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What's a dog's favorite food for breakfast?

Pooched eggs.
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How many Microsoft executives does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Bill Gates will just redefine Darkness® as the industry standard.
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What is the name of 007's Eskimo cousin?

Polar Bond.
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What did the frog say when he heard "time flies when you are having fun?"

Time is fun when you're having flies
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What's round and bad-tempered?

A vicious circle.
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Why shouldn't Donald Trump rag on illegal immigrants?

Because an undocumented worker has been living on his head for the past 2 decades!
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