What did the picture say to the wall?

I've been framed!
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How many running-dog lackeys of the bourgeoisie does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to exploit the proletariat, and one to control the means of production!
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What do you call two ants that run away to get married?

Ant-elopes!
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What is black ,white and red all over?

A sunburnt penguin
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I'm sorry we can't let the elephants back into the public pool.

They keep dropping their trunks.
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What did the ghost say to the other ghost?

Do you believe in humans?
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So I went to the Chinese restaurant and this duck came up to me with a red rose and says "Your eyes sparkle like diamonds".

I said, "Waiter, I asked for a-ROMATIC duck".
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How many apples grow on a tree?

All of them.
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Why do cows wear bells?

Because their horns don't work.

There were two cows in a field. The first cow said "moo" and the second cow said "baaaa." The first cow asked the second cow, "why did you say baaaa?" The second cow said, "I'm learning a foreign language."
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What do you call a beautiful woman on a trombonist's arm?

A tattoo.

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