What did the picture say to the wall?

I've been framed!
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Why was the mouse afraid of the water?

Catfish
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Why don't bears wear shoes?

What's the use, they'd still have bear feet
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What do you call a mommy cow that just had a calf?

Decalfinated
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How many shaggy dogs does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Fewer than it takes to screw in a heavy bulb.
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What do you call a messy hippo?

A hippopota-mess
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What's the difference between a piano and a tuna?

You can tuna piano, but you can't piano a tuna

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What's an alligator's favorite drink?

Gator-Ade.
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Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?

To reduce his carbon footprint.
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"I went to the zoo the other day, there was only one dog in it,

it was a shitzu."
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