What did the picture say to the wall?

I've been framed!
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What do you get when you cross a witch with sand?

A sandwich!
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What does Donald Trump say when he can't find his Viagra?

"The erection is rigged!"
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How many UFO buffs does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. You don't believe me do you? I've got photos! See that big blob? Well, just squint your eyes a bit. . . .
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What's a tree's favorite drink?

Rootbeer.
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What has one horn and gives milk?

A milk truck.
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How many music teachers does it take to screw in a light bulb??

None. music teachers can't afford lightbulbs.
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Can you say Richard and Robert had a rabbit without using the "r" sound?

Sure, Dick and Bob had a bunny!
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How many accountants does it take to screw in a light bulb?

What kind of answer did you have in mind?
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Why was the ant so confused?

Because all his uncles were "ants"!
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