What did the picture say to the wall?

I've been framed!
Canvas not available.

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Why can't Donald Trump be a Lannister?

Because he never pays his debts.
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Where did the sheep go on vacation?

The baaaahamas
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What did the mother broom say to the baby broom?

It's time to go to sweep.
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What do you call a cow that twitches?

Beef jerky
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What is on the ground and also a hundred feet in the air?

A centipede on its back!
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What do you call a mad elephant?

An earthquake.
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Trump: "Foreign Policy?,

if you mess with the United States, there will be hell toupee."

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How do you fix a broken vegetable?

With tomato paste.
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What did one ion say to the other?

I've got my ion you.
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