What did the picture say to the wall?

I've been framed!
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What kind of shoes do bannanas make?

Slippers!
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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to do the screwing, and one to hear the confession.
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How many sheep do you need to make a sweater?

I don't know. I didn't think sheep could knit
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Why doesn't Melania Trump want to be the first lady?

Because she would have to move into a smaller house.
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What did one cow say to the other?

Mooooooove over
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I know loads of jokes about cash machines,

I just can't think of one atm.
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How many charismatics does it take to change a light bulb?

Three - one to cast the bulb into the outer darkness, and two to catch it when it falls.
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How many skunks does it take to make a big stink?

A phew.
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Who's richer — the butcher, the baker, or the candlestick maker?

The baker, because he has lots of dough.
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