What did the picture say to the wall?

I've been framed!
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Why do fish live in salt water?

Because pepper makes them sneeze
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What did one elevator say to the other?

I think I'm coming down with something!
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How many fire safety guys dose it take to screw in a light bulb?

One -- but it's an 8 hour minimum.
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What do you call a girl with a frog on her head?

Lilly.
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How many orgy attenders does it take to change a lightbulb?

As many as possible, and don't *ask* what they do with the old bulb.
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Where do you get whales weighed?

At the Whale-weigh station.
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How much does a hipster weigh?

An instagram.
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Why do hummingbirds hum?

Because they don't know the words.
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What kind of dog has a bark but no bite?

A Dogwood
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