What did the picture say to the wall?

I've been framed!
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How does an attorney sleep?

First he lies on one side, then he lies on the other.
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Went to the paper shop -

it had blown away.
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What's the difference between a dead skunk in the road and a dead lawyer in the road?

There are skid marks in front of the skunk.
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What is the show cesium and iodine love watching together?

CSI
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Why do cows wear bells?

Because their horns don't work.

There were two cows in a field. The first cow said "moo" and the second cow said "baaaa." The first cow asked the second cow, "why did you say baaaa?" The second cow said, "I'm learning a foreign language."
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What music does cheese listen to?

R & Brie.
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Why do chemists like nitrates so much?

They're cheaper than day rates.
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What has a lot of keys but can not open any doors?

A piano.
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Why did the boy take a ruler to bed?

To see how long he slept.
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