What did the picture say to the wall?

I've been framed!
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Why was the boy sitting on his watch?

Because he wanted to be on time.

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What does Donald Trump say when he can't find his Viagra?

"The erection is rigged!"
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What do you call a cow with no legs?

Ground beef.
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What has holes all over and holds water?

A sponge!
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What do you get from a cow at the North Pole?

Ice cream.
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Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He made an illegal ewe turn.

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What do you call 25 attorneys buried up to their chins in cement?

Not enough cement.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and God?

God doesn't think he's a lawyer.

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Why are Muslims worried about Trumps immigration plans?

Once you deport Juan you deport Jamal.
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