What did the picture say to the wall?

I've been framed!
Canvas not available.

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What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a red car?
A red carnation.
What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a pink car?
A pink car-nation.
What would the country be called if everyone in it lived in their cars?

An in-car-nation.
Canvas not available.

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Why did the scarecrow win an award?

Because he was outstanding in his field.
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What did the snowman say to the customer?

Have an ice day!
Canvas not available.

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Why do cows wear bells?

Because their horns don't work.

There were two cows in a field. The first cow said "moo" and the second cow said "baaaa." The first cow asked the second cow, "why did you say baaaa?" The second cow said, "I'm learning a foreign language."
Canvas not available.

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How do you stop a dog barking in the back seat of a car?

Put him in the front seat.
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What do you give a pig with a rash?

Oinkment.
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What does Melania see in Donald Trump?

"Ten billion dollars and high cholesterol!"
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What does a cat say when somebody steps on
its tail?

Me-ow
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What do you call a pig who knows karate?

Porkchop
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