What did the picture say to the wall?

I've been framed!
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How does Donald Trump intend to spice up the Republican Convention?

By relocating it to a casino!
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I bought some shoes off of a drug dealer. I don't know what he laced them with

but I've been trippin' all day.
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How do you get a cello player to play in tune?

Tell him the key signature has 8 sharps.

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How many mathematicians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. He gives it to six Californians, thereby reducing the problem to an earlier joke...

In earlier work, Wiener [1] has shown that one mathematician can change a light bulb.

If k mathematicians can change a light bulb, and if one more simply watches them do it, then k+1 mathematicians will have changed the light bulb.

Therefore, by induction, for all n in the positive integers, n mathematicians can change a light bulb.

Bibliography:

[1] Wiener, Matthew P., <11485@ucbvax>, Re: YALBJ, 1986
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Trump: "Foreign Policy?,

if you mess with the United States, there will be hell toupee."

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What is Donald Trumps favorite song?

ICE ICE Baby......
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What has four legs, a trunk, and sunglasses?

A mouse on vacation.
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me!
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What's the difference between a female lawyer and a pitbull?

Lipstick.
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