What did the picture say to the wall?

I've been framed!
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I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport.

I’m just doing it for kicks.
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Where do sheep get their hair cut?

At the baa-baa shop.
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How is Donald Trump going to shut down the Department of Education?

By renaming it Trump University.
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What is a lion's favorite state?

Maine
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How many drummers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They have machines to do that now.
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Doc, I can't stop singing the 'Green Green Grass of Home'. He said: 'That sounds like Tom Jones syndrome'. 'Is it common?'I asked.

'It's not unusual' he replied.

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How did the chemist survive the famine?

By subsisting on titrations.
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What is a baby's motto?

If at first you don't succeed, cry and cry again!
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How many alto sax players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five: one to handle the bulb and four to contemplate how David Sanborn would've done it.
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