What did the picture say to the wall?

I've been framed!
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I tried nutella on some salmon

got salmonella.
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What's the slipperiest country?

Greece!
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They're always telling me to live my dreams.

But I don't want to be naked in an exam I haven't revised for.
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Why was the cat afraid of a tree?

Because of the bark
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How many cats does it takes to screw in a light bulb?

You can throw away your light bulbs. Just douse the cat with gasoline, light it up with a match, and you'll have all the light you need. (Comment: BLEAH!)
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How do you make a cello sound beautiful?

Sell it and buy a violin

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What's round and bad-tempered?

A vicious circle.
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What do dinosaurs and decent lawyers have in common?

They're both extinct.
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In what school do you learn how to greet people?

Hi school.
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