What did the picture say to the wall?

I've been framed!
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What do you give a pig with a rash?

Oinkment.
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What creature is smarter than a talking parrot?

A spelling bee!
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Why did the chicken cross the road, roll in mud, then cross the road again?

He was a dirty double crosser!
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How do you keep a skunk from smelling?

Plug its nose.
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Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.

That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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Why didn't the skeleton cross the road?

He didn't have any guts!
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How do you get a lawyer out of a tree?

Cut the rope.
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What did Michael Jackson tell the little boy?

"The way you make me feel, it really turns me on!"
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Why would an elephant paint its toenails different colors?

To hide in a bag of M&M's.
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