What did the picture say to the wall?

I've been framed!
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If minorities have the race card and women have the gender card, what do rednecks have?

The Trump Card
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Why did the Christmas tree go to the barber?

It needed to be trimmed.
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me!
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What is the difference between a lawyer and a rooster?

When a rooster wakes up in the morning, its primal urge is to cluck defiance.
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What did one wall say to the other?

I'll meet you at the corner.
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What did the peanut say to the walnut?

Nothing. Nuts can't talk.
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How many Mensans does it take to tell Mensa light bulb jokes?

Five. One to tell the joke and one to get it.

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What time is it when 5 dogs chase 1 cat?

Five after one.

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How many art directors does it take to screw in a light bulb

Does it have to be a light bulb? I've got this neat candle holder...

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