What did the picture say to the wall?

I've been framed!
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What do you get when you drop a piano into a mine shaft?

A Flat Miner

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What are pirate's favoite treat?

Chips AHOY!!
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I just watched a program about beavers.

It was the best dam program I've ever seen.
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How many Director's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Just one more, guys, I promise.
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How many times does Bill Clinton change a light bulb?

No one knows. Republicans automatically disbelieve him, and no one can ever trust a stinking liberal anyway.
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How many technical writers does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, provided there is a programmer around to explain how to do it.
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How many Union Lighting Technicians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

It's not a bulb, it's a globe.
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How do you make a goldfish old?

Take away the g
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Have you heard the joke about the butter?

I better not tell you, it might spread.
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