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What did the picture say to the wall?
I've been framed!
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What do envelopes say when you lick them?
Nothing, it shuts them up!
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How do you tell you're kissing a french horn player?
He/She keeps trying to stick their fist up your butt.
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I used to work in a shoe recycling shop.
It was sole destroying.
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What's the difference between an accountant and a lawyer?
Accountants know they're boring.
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What type of cars do elves drive?
Toy-otas.
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Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?
To reduce his carbon footprint.
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Why are babies good at soccer?
Because they dribble!
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How are doughnuts and golf alike?
They both have a hole in one!
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What happened when the lion ate the comedian?
He felt funny.
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