What did the picture say to the wall?

I've been framed!
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What has 4 wheels, gives milk, and eats grass.

A cow on a skateboard.
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What does a lawyer get when you give him Viagra?

Taller
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What element is derived from a Norse god?

Thorium.
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How many Bratzlaver Hasidim does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They will never find a bulb that burns as brightly as the old one.
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What kind of lights did Noah have on the ark?

Flood lights!
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What do you call a mad elephant?

An earthquake.
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I've got a friend who's fallen in love with two school bags,

he's bisatchel.

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What is a vampire's favorite fruit?

A nectarine!
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Where do orcas hear music?

Orca-stras
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