What did the picture say to the wall?

I've been framed!
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Why to lawyers wear neckties?

To keep the foreskin from crawling up their chins.
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What do an accordion and a lawsuit have in common?

Everyone is relieved when the case is closed.

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A lorry-load of tortoises crashed into a trainload of terrapins,

What a turtle disaster

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What is black and white and red all over?

A skunk with a rash.
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What kind of pants do ghosts wear?

Boo-Jeans.
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me
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What did one hair say to the other?

It takes two to tangle!
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Why did the Christmas tree go to the barber?

It needed to be trimmed.
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How many folk musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Seven. One to change it and the other six to sing about how good the old one was.
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