What did the picture say to the wall?

I've been framed!
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How many Stanford professors does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One to write a paper claiming that light is a pig whitey invention, one to organize a Darkness Studies program, and one hundred to protest the Diablo Canyon Nuclear Generating Station.
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How many charismatics does it take to change a light bulb?

Three - one to cast the bulb into the outer darkness, and two to catch it when it falls.
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I'm on a whiskey diet.

I've lost three days already.

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A pair of eyebrows walked into a shop. The assistant asked, "Can I help you?"

The eyebrows replied, "no, we are just browsing"
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What do you call the best butter on the farm?

A goat.
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What is a shark's favorite sandwich?

Peanut butter and jellyfish.
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Why is Superman's costume so tight?

Because he wears a size "S".
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When the attendant asked the photon if it had any bags to check

It said Nah, I'm traveling light.
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What is Donald Trump telling all his supporters?


Orange Is The New Black.
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