What did the picture say to the wall?

I've been framed!
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Why is a skeleton so mean?

He doesn't have a heart.
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What nails do carpenters hate to hit?

Fingernails.
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Why did the cow go in the spaceship?

It wanted to see the mooooooon!
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How many bass clarinetists does it take to change a light bulb?

All of them
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Don't trust atoms,

they make up everything.
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If you see a lawyer on a bicycle, why don't you swerve to hit him?

It might be your bicycle.
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What do you call a dinosaur in a car accident?

A tyrannosauraus wreck
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How many Christian Scientists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

None, but it takes at least one to sit and pray for the old one to go back on.
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What is the world's longest punctuation mark?

The hundred yard dash.
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