What did the picture say to the wall?

I've been framed!
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How many singers from Nashville does it take to change a light bulb?

Four. One to change it, one to sing about how heartbroken he is at the loss of the old one, one to sing about how madly in love he is with the new one, and one to go "Yee-Hah!" and throw his cowboy hat in the air.
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Why does hamburger yield lower energy than steak?

Because it's in the ground state.
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How did Noah see the animals in the Ark at night?

With flood lighting.
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What do you call a beautiful woman on a trombonist's arm?

A tattoo.

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A duck, a skunk and a deer went out for dinner at a restaurant one night.

When it came time to pay, the skunk didn't have a scent, the deer didn't have a buck so they put the meal on the duck's bill.
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There's a fine line between a numerator and denominator.

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What did the calculator say to the math student?

You can count on me!
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How many shaggy dogs does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Fewer than it takes to screw in a heavy bulb.
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How many Feminists does it take to change a light bulb?

That's not funny!!!
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