What did the picture say to the wall?

I've been framed!
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What is the strongest animal?

A snail because it carries it's home.
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You see my next-door neighbour worships exhaust pipes,

he's a catholic converter.


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"I went to the zoo the other day, there was only one dog in it,

it was a shitzu."
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What has holes all over and holds water?

A sponge!
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How many Cabbage Patch dolls does it take to change a light bulb?

The question is irrelevant, since you couldn't find the dolls even if you knew how many. (Note: Well, this was a good joke in 1983-84. . . .)
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a gigolo?

A gigolo only screws one person at a time.
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How do you make a cello sound beautiful?

Sell it and buy a violin

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What do you give a lemon in distress?

Lemonade.
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What do you call a pig that's been arrested for dangerous driving?

A road hog.
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