What did the picture say to the wall?

I've been framed!
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What did the octopus say to his girlfriend when he proposed?

Can I have your hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand in marriage?
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A young blonde woman is distraught because she fears her husband is having an affair, so she goes to a gun shop and buys a handgun. The next day she comes home to find her husband in bed with a beautiful redhead. She grabs the gun and holds it to her own head. The husband jumps out of bed, begging and pleading with her not to shoot herself.

The blonde responds to the husband, "Shut up...you're next!"
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How do you open the great lakes?

With the Florida Keys.
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What did the ghost say to the other ghost?

Do you believe in humans?
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Why can't hippos ride bicycles?

Bike helmets don't fit hippos
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What kind of music do planets sing?

Neptunes!
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How did Ben Franklin feel after discovering electricity?

Shocked.
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Why do seagulls fly over the sea?

Because if they flew over the bay, they'd be baygulls!
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What airline does Donald Trump aspire to fly?

Hair Force One!
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