What did the picture say to the wall?

I've been framed!
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What goes tick-tock, bow-wow, tick-tock, bow-wow?

A watch dog.
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How many guitar players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five. One to change the bulb and eleven to say they could do it faster.

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How do you stop a dog barking in the back seat of a car?

Put him in the front seat.
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What did one cow say to the other?

Mooooooove over
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What do you call a beautiful woman on a trombonist's arm?

A tattoo.

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What pine has the longest needles?

A porcupine.
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What do planets like to read?

Comet books!
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Why did the boy take a ladder to school?

He wanted to go to high school!
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What do you call a king who is only 12 inches tall?

A ruler.
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