What did the picture say to the wall?

I've been framed!
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I'll tell you what I love doing more than anything: trying to pack myself in a small suitcase.

I can hardly contain myself.

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Why are the middle ages sometimes called the Dark Ages?

Because they had so many knights.
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What do you call a bankrupt Santa?

Saint Nickel-less.
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Why was the ant so confused?

Because all his uncles were "ants"!
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What is black when clean, and white when dirty?

A blackboard.
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What did the banana do when the monkey chased it?

The banana split
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What do an accordion and a lawsuit have in common?

Everyone is relieved when the case is closed.

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How many conservatives does it take to change a light bulb?

One; after reflecting in the twilight on the merit of the previous bulb.
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How many Ukrainians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None, because people who glow in the dark don't need light bulbs.

Note: Topical to the Chernobyl Reactor disaster of 1984.
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