What did the picture say to the wall?

I've been framed!
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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to screw it in, and another to repent.

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What has ears like a cat and a tail like a cat, but is not a cat?

A kitten.
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I have a friend who is a Limo driver . But he has had no clients for two years.

So he has nothing to chauffeur it !
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What has 6 eyes but can't see?

3 blind mice.
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Why did Lil Wayne go to the Doctor?

He was feeling a Lil Weezy

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What did one ion say to the other?

I've got my ion you.
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What do Santa's elves drive?

Minivans.
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What did the laywer name his daughter?

Sue.
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Where are cars most likely to get flat tires?

At forks in the road.
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