What did the picture say to the wall?

I've been framed!
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Kleptomaniacs just don't get puns

they always take things literally.
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What kind of dog has a bark but no bite?

A Dogwood
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What do you call a deer with no eyes?

No I deer
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What's the difference between a vacuum cleaner and a lawyer on a motorcycle?

The vacuum cleaner has the dirt bag on the inside.
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What do you call a man with a rubber toe?

Roberto.
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Why did the rooster cross the road?

To prove he wasn't a chicken!
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So I went to the Chinese restaurant and this duck came up to me with a red rose and says "Your eyes sparkle like diamonds".

I said, "Waiter, I asked for a-ROMATIC duck".
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What does GOP stand for?

Grabs Our Pussy.
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Why don't bears wear shoes?

What's the use, they'd still have bear feet
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