What did the policeman say when his tummy was rumbling?

Stop! You're under a vest.
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What is the quietest kind of a dog?

A hush puppy.
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How many lawyer jokes are there?

Only three. The rest are true stories.
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El Chapo has offered $100 million dollars for Trumps body, dead or alive.

I guess that finally answers the question about how much Donald Trump is actually worth.
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How many editors of Poor Richard's Almanac does it take to replace a light bulb?

"Many hands make light work."
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What do you call the best butter on the farm?

A goat.
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Don't trust atoms,

they make up everything.
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What do you call a pig who knows karate?

Porkchop
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What can you hold without using your hands?

Your breath!
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I thought about going on an all-almond diet.

But that's just nuts
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