What did the porcupine say to the cactus?

Is that you mommy?

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What's green and loud?

A froghorn.

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What's the definition of a gentleman?

One who knows how to play the saxophone, but doesn't!

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Why did the belt go to jail?

It held up a pair of pants.
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What's gray, eats fish, and lives in Washington, D.C.?

The Presidential Seal.

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Who earns a living by driving his customers away?

A taxi driver.
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How many bass clarinetists does it take to change a light bulb?

All of them

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Why did the doughnut shop close?

The owner got tired of the (w)hole business!
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Whenever I get to Edinburgh, I'm reminded of the definition of a gentleman.

It's someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
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