What did the porcupine say to the cactus?

Is that you mommy?
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What's black and white, black and white, black and white and green?

Three skunks fighting over a pickle

First dog: My master calls me Furball. How about you?
Second Dog: My master calls me Sitboy
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Why did the doughnut shop close?

The owner got tired of the (w)hole business!
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What does new age music sound like played backwards?

New age music.

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What school do you have to drop out of to graduate from?

Parachute school!
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Why did the poultry farmer become a school teacher?

So he could grade his eggs.
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What time is it when an elephant sits on your bed?

Time to get a new bed
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What did the calculator say to the math student?

You can count on me!
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My phone will ring at 2 in the morning, and my wife'll look at me and go, "Who's that calling at this time?' "I don't know!

If I knew that we wouldn't need the bloody phone!"

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