What did the rug say to the floor?

Don't move, I've got you covered.
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How many Bluegrass musicians does it take to screw in a light bulb??

What's a light bulb?
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What kind of music do planets sing?

Neptunes!
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Why are ghosts so bad at lying?

Because you can see right through them!
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What do you call a man with a rubber toe?

Roberto.
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What has four legs, a trunk, and sunglasses?

A mouse on vacation.
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How many Executive Producers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Executive Producers don't screw in a light bulb, they screw in a hot tub.
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How many engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

First they have to agree on which is better; the analog bulb or a digital bulb.
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What is black and white and red all over?

A skunk with a rash.
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They stopped a vulture from bringing his rotting carcasses on the plane

but he said "You said I could have two carry on items!"
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