What did the rug say to the floor?

Don't move, I've got you covered.
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How many Bratzlaver Hasidim does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They will never find a bulb that burns as brightly as the old one.
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What do you call two ants that run away to get married?

Ant-elopes!
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How many charismatics does it take to change a light bulb?

Three - one to cast the bulb into the outer darkness, and two to catch it when it falls.
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What do you call a scared train?

A fright train!
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I just watched a program about beavers.

It was the best dam program I've ever seen.
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What is Donald Trumps campaign slogan?

"A complex world demands complex hair."
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Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?

It's fine, he woke up.
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Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly. But when they lit a fire in the craft, it sank,

proving once and for all that you can't have your kayak and heat it.

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Why did they kick cinderella off the baseball team?

She kept running away from the ball.
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