What did the sardine call the submarine?

A can of people.
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How did the butcher introduce his wife?

Meet Patty.
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What has 6 eyes but can't see?

3 blind mice.
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I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport.

I’m just doing it for kicks.
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What's the difference between a dead skunk in the road and a dead lawyer in the road?

There are skid marks in front of the skunk.
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"Dyslexic man walks into a bra"
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What happens when spectroscopists are idle?

They turn from notating nuclear spins to notating unclear puns.
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Why are there fences around a graveyard?

Because people are dying to get in!
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Where do mice park their boats?

At the hickory dickory dock.
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