What did the sardine call the submarine?

A can of people.
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What do you call two ants that run away to get married?

Ant-elopes!
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What's the one thing that never works when it's fixed?

A jury.
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What kind of shoes does a pedophile wear?

White vans.
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How many bass clarinetists does it take to change a light bulb?

All of them
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How do you make Holy water?

Take regular water and just boil the hell out of it.
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I’ve never gone to a gun range before.

I decided to give it a shot!
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When are kids most likely to go to school?

When the door is open.
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There's a fine line between a numerator and denominator.

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