What did the sardine call the submarine?

A can of people.
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Why does cheese look sane?

Because everything else on the plate is crackers.
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What do you call a thieving alligator?

A crookodile
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Slept like a log last night........

Woke up in the fireplace.

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What did the farmer call the cow that would not give him any milk?

An udder failure.
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How do you tell you're kissing a french horn player?

He/She keeps trying to stick their fist up your butt.

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Why did the poultry farmer become a school teacher?

So he could grade his eggs.
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There's two fish in a tank, and one says "How do you drive this thing?"
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When are kids most likely to go to school?

When the door is open.
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