What did the sardine call the submarine?

A can of people.
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What runs around a yard without moving?

A fence.
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Why is Superman's costume so tight?

Because he wears a size "S".
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How can you tell when a lawyer is lying?

Their lips are moving.
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What do you do when 50 zombies surround your house?

Hope it's Halloween!!
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What did the porcupine say to the cactus?

Is that you mommy?
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What is the chemical formula for "coffee"?

CoFe2
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How many supporters of George W. Bush does it take to change a light bulb?

None. First, denounce the nearest Democrats as liberal pantywaists who deliberately caused the bulb to blow. Second, announce that the Bush administration has proved that the science of electricity is faulty, so no action ever needs to be taken on global light change. Third, keep the need for a new light bulb strictly secret. Fourth, use the money for new light bulbs as an excuse for another tax cut for Bush's wealthy friends. Fifth, explain that you would never "disassemble" about the need for light, you are way too busy spreading freedom and democracy in the Middle East by eliminating freedom and democracy in the United States.
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What do you call a pig who knows karate?

Porkchop
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