What did the scientist say when he found 2 isotopes of helium?

HeHe
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How many thought police does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. There never was any light bulb.

Notes: Probably the only really good light bulb joke of 1984.
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What is up in the air and wobbles?

A jellycopter
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Why would an elephant paint its toenails different colors?

To hide in a bag of M&M's.
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What washes up on small beaches?

Microwaves.
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What is up in the air and wobbles?

A jellycopter
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How many board meetings does it take to get a light bulb changed?

This topic was resumed from last week's discussion, but is incomplete pending resolution of some action items. It will be continued next week. Meanwhile . . .
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What did the Mass Spectrometer say to the Gas Chromatograph?

Breaking up is hard to do.
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What do you call a dinosaur that never gives up?

A try and try and try-ceratops
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