What did the snail say when he got on the turtle's shell?

Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
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How many musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and 17 to be on the guest list.
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How did the chemist survive the famine?

By subsisting on titrations.
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Why does the Donald sleep with a potato in his briefs?

Because he want to wake up some day as America's First Dictator.
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What clothes does a house wear?

Address.
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A Freudian slip is when you mean to say one thing

but you accidentally say Mother.
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What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?

One is really heavy, the other is a little lighter.
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A Freudian slip is when you mean to say one thing

but you accidentally say Mother.
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Why was the mouse afraid of the water?

Catfish
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