What did the snail say when he got on the turtle's shell?

Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
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Why does the Easter Bunny have a shiny nose?

His powder puff is on the wrong end.
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What did the judge say to the dentist?

Do you swear to pull the tooth, the whole tooth and nothing but the tooth?
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It’s Hans free.
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What do you get when you drop a piano on an army base?

A Flat Major

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How many [ethnics] does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Ten. One to hold the bulb and nine to rotate the ladder.
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What do lawyers wear in court?

Lawsuits.
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What goes 99 thump,99 thump,99 thump?

A centipede with a wooden leg.
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If minorities have the race card and women have the gender card, what do rednecks have?

The Trump Card
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