What did the snowman say to the customer?

Have an ice day!
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I was having dinner with Garry Kasporov (world chess champion) and there was a check tablecloth.

It took him two hours to pass me the salt.
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How many Bell Labs vice presidents does it take to change a light bulb?

That's proprietary information. The answer is available from AT&T on payment of license fee (binary only).
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me!
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Want to hear a joke about construction?

I'm still working on it.
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"I went to the zoo the other day, there was only one dog in it,

it was a shitzu."
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What kind of cars do cats drive?

Catillacs
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What did the class clown take a computer to school?

Her mom told her to bring in an apple for the teacher.
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What do you call snake with no clothes on?

Snaked.
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Where do soldiers keep their armies?

In their Sleevies!
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