What did the sub-atmoic ducks say?

Quark!
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Online money has recently been discovered to be a not-yet-identified super heavy element.

The proposed name is: Un-obtainium.
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How do dinosaurs pay their bills?

With Tyrannosaurus checks.
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Where do ghosts buy their food?

At the ghost-ery store!
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What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon!
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Why did the thief take a shower?

He wanted to make a clean getaway!
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Why don't aliens eat clowns?

Because they taste funny!
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What's the one thing that never works when it's fixed?

A jury.
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When Susan's boyfriend proposed marriage to her she said: "I love the simple things in life,

but I don't want one of them for my husband".

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What did polly the parrot want for the 4th of July?

A fire cracker
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