What did the teddy bear say when it was offered dessert?

No thank you, I'm stuffed.
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What did one tooth say to the other tooth?

The dentist is taking me out tonight.
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Why did the chicken cross the road, roll in mud, then cross the road again?

He was a dirty double crosser!
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Where does Dorian Gray shop?

Forever 21
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Where is a rabbit's favorite place to eat?

Ihop
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Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?

To reduce his carbon footprint.
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How many Union Lighting Technicians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

It's not a bulb, it's a globe.
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What did the alien say to the garden?

Take me to your weeder!
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What do you call an exploding monkey?

A baboom
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