What did the teddy bear say when it was offered dessert?

No thank you, I'm stuffed.
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How many grips does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two: One to hold it, one to hammer it in.

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Three people were in a boat. They all fell off. Only two people ended up with wet hair. Why didn't the other person's hair get wet?

Because he was bald!
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A priest, a rabbi and a vicar walk into a bar.

The barman says, "Is this some kind of joke?"

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I would avoid the sushi if I was you.

It’s a little fishy.
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What do you get when you drop a piano into a mine shaft?

A Flat Miner

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How many Bell Labs vice presidents does it take to change a light bulb?

That's proprietary information. The answer is available from AT&T on payment of license fee (binary only).

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I went to the doctors the other day and I said, 'Have you got anything for wind?'

So he gave me a kite.

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What is a ghost's favorite pie?

Booberry pie!
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