What did the teddy bear say when it was offered dessert?

No thank you, I'm stuffed.
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What creature is smarter than a talking parrot?

A spelling bee!
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I have a friend who is a Limo driver . But he has had no clients for two years.

So he has nothing to chauffeur it !
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Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?

He got caught peeping on a test.
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What is only a small box but can weigh over a hundred pounds?

A scale.
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Silver walks up to Gold in a bar and says, "AU, get outta here!"
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Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?

To reduce his carbon footprint.
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How many magicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Depends on what you want to change it into.
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What message did Bach have on his answering machine?

"This phone is baroque, please call Bach later."

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