What did the teddy bear say when it was offered dessert?

No thank you, I'm stuffed.
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What do you call a fat pumpkin?

A plumpkin.
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This graveyard looks overcrowded.

People must be dying to get in there.
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What do you do with a dead chemist?

Barium
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What do you call a musician with a college degree?

Night manager at McDonalds

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What kind of band can't play music?

A rubber band.
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How do you know the economy is only getting worse?

On the latest episode of "Celebrity Apprentice", Donald Trump fired himself!
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Why did the banana split?

It saw the ginger snap.
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Why don't bears wear shoes?

What's the use, they'd still have bear feet
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