What do a viola and a lawsuit have in common?

Everyone is happy when the case is closed

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If you see a lawyer on a bicycle, why don't you swerve to hit him?

It might be your bicycle.
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How do dinosaurs pay their bills?

With Tyrannosaurus checks.
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Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?

It's fine, he woke up.
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What is the snake's favorite subject?

Hiss-story
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What do you get when you cross a witch with sand?

A sandwich!
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I said to this train driver "I want to go to Paris". He said "Eurostar?"

I said, "I've been on telly but I'm no Dean Martin".
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What is the difference between a pregnant woman and a light bulb?

You can unscrew a light bulb.
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Why did the chicken cross the clothing store?

To get to the other size!
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What did one hair say to the other?

It takes two to tangle!
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