What do a viola and a lawsuit have in common?

Everyone is happy when the case is closed

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Who makes the best cake on a baseball team?

The batter.
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Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He was a baaaaaaaaad driver.
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What kind of jam can you not eat?

A traffic jam.
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Why did the turtle cross the road?

To get to the shell station.
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How is a dog like a telephone?

It has a collar I.D.
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Why can't lawyers do NMR?

Bar magnets have poor homogeneity.
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How many board meetings does it take to get a light bulb changed?

This topic was resumed from last week's discussion, but is incomplete pending resolution of some action items. It will be continued next week. Meanwhile . . .
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What do you call a dinosaur that smashes everything in its path?

Tyrannosaurus wrecks.
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What do cats and dogs call Santa Clause?

Santa paws!!!
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