What do a viola and a lawsuit have in common?

Everyone is happy when the case is closed

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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me
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What does Santa like to do in the garden?

Hoe, hoe, hoe!
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What kind of fly has a frog in its throat?

A hoarse fly!
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When is it bad luck to be followed by a black cat?

When you're a mouse.
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How do you make a fire with two sticks?

Make sure one is a match!
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What do you get if Bach dies and is reincarnated as twins?

A pair of Re-Bachs.

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A woman has twins, and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named 'Amal.' The other goes to a family in Spain, they name him Juan'. Years later; Juan sends a picture of himself to his mum. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wished she also had a picture of Amal.

Her husband responds, "But they are twins. If you've seen Juan, you've seen Amal."

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What did the little boy's mom say when he asked her to buy him shoes for gym?

"Tell Jim to buy his own shoes".
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What is a boxer's favorite drink?

Punch.
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