What do aliens on the metric system say?

Take me to your liter.
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El Chapo has offered $100 million dollars for Trumps body, dead or alive.

I guess that finally answers the question about how much Donald Trump is actually worth.
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I bought some shoes off of a drug dealer. I don't know what he laced them with

but I've been trippin' all day.
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Why did the tomato blush?

Because he saw the salad dressing!
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What is the best time to go to the dentist?

Tooth-hurty.
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What kind of lights did Noah have on the ark?

Flood lights!
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Why can't you say a joke while standing on ice?

Because it might crack up!
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Why didn't the skeleton want to go to school?

His heart wasn't in it.
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What do you call a dinosaur that never gives up?

A try and try and try-ceratops
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That girl said she knew me from the vegitarian club,

but I'd never seen herbivore [her before]
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