What do aliens on the metric system say?

Take me to your liter.
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I swear, the other day I bought a packet of peanuts, and on the packet it said "may contain nuts." Well, YES! That's what I bought the buggers for!

You'd be annoyed if you opened it and a socket set fell out!"

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Who earns a living by driving his customers away?

A taxi driver.
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Why did the people not like the restaurant on the moon?

Because there was no atmosphere.
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What game do elephants play when riding in the back of a car?

Squash
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What is a cow's favorite place?

The mooseum.
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What do moms dress up as on Halloween?

Mummies!
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Why did the farmer wear one boot to town?

Because he heard there would be a 50% chance of snow!
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What kind of balls do dragons play soccer with?

Fireballs.
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What do you call a wheel made of iron?

A ferrous wheel.
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