What do an accordion and a lawsuit have in common?

Everyone is relieved when the case is closed.

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I have a friend who is a Limo driver . But he has had no clients for two years.

So he has nothing to chauffeur it !
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Why did Mozart kill his chickens?

Because they always ran around going "Bach! Bach! Bach!"

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What did the judge say to the dentist?

Do you swear to pull the tooth, the whole tooth and nothing but the tooth?
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What did the belly button say just before it left?

I'm outtie here!

Tom: I bet I can make you say purple.
Joe: How?
Tom: What colors are in the American flag?
Joe: Red, white and blue.
Tom: I told you I can make you say red.
Joe: You said purple!
Tom: I told you I could make you say purple!
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What do you call a bankrupt Santa?

Saint Nickel-less.
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I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport.

I’m just doing it for kicks.
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What did the carrot say to the rabbit?

Do you want to grab a bite?
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What do you call a chicken in the 1960's?

A funky chicken.
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Why do loud, obnoxious whistles exist at some factories?

To give us some sort of appreciation for flutes.

Did you hear about that music composer who committed suicide? He didn't even leave a note.

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