What do an accordion and a lawsuit have in common?

Everyone is relieved when the case is closed.

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How do you keep a skunk from smelling?

Plug its nose.
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Why does everybody like Frosty the Snowman?

Because he is so cool!
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What time is it when an elephant sits on your bed?

Time to get a new bed
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What is black ,white and red all over?

A sunburnt penguin
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What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?

One is really heavy, the other is a little lighter.
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What did the man on the beach say to Michael Jackson?

Get out of my sun!
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Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.

That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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How many Zen masters does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A tree in a golden forest.
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Where do fish keep their money?

In a river bank
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