What do an accordion and a lawsuit have in common?

Everyone is relieved when the case is closed.

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What did the ghost say to the other ghost?

Do you believe in humans?
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What do whales eat?

Fish and ships.
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How many supply-siders does it take to change a light bulb?

None. The darkness will cause the bulb to change by itself.
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I thought about going on an all-almond diet.

But that's just nuts
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How many subscribers to AOL does it take to change a light bulb?

What? You can change light bulbs?
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What did the grape say when the elephant stepped on it?

It gave a little wine
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How many Ukrainians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None, because people who glow in the dark don't need light bulbs.

Note: Topical to the Chernobyl Reactor disaster of 1984.
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What's gray, eats fish, and lives in Washington, D.C.?

The Presidential Seal.
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How are doughnuts and golf alike?

They both have a hole in one!
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