What do an accordion and a lawsuit have in common?

Everyone is relieved when the case is closed.

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Where do cows go on Saturday night?

To the mooooooovies.
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What did the banana do when the monkey chased it?

The banana split
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What is Donald Trumps campaign slogan?

"A complex world demands complex hair."
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What room does a ghost not need?

A living room!
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What happened when the monster ate the electric company?

He was in shock for a week.
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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What do clarinetists use for birth control?

Their personalities.

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Why didn't the skeleton want to go to school?

His heart wasn't in it.
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