What do basketball players and babies have in common?

They both dribble.
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How did Noah see the animals in the Ark at night?

With flood lighting.
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What did the sardine call the submarine?

A can of people.
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What kind of ties can't you wear?

Railroad ties.
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What did the peanut say to the walnut?

Nothing. Nuts can't talk.
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What's the difference between a vacuum cleaner and a lawyer on a motorcycle?

The vacuum cleaner has the dirt bag on the inside.
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Why did the skeleton cross the road?

To get to the body shop.
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What is the difference between a clarinet and an onion?

Nobody cries when you chop an clarinet into little pieces

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How Many lead guitarist does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They just steal somebody else's light.
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When are kids most likely to go to school?

When the door is open.
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