What do basketball players and babies have in common?

They both dribble.
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How many Christian Scientists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

None, but it takes at least one to sit and pray for the old one to go back on.
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What do vampires take when they are sick?

Coffin drops!
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Middle C, E-Flat and G walk into a bar.

Sorry, says the barman, we don't serve minors.
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I'll tell you what I love doing more than anything: trying to pack myself in a small suitcase.

I can hardly contain myself.

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What do you call a cheese factory in the Middle East?

Cheeses of Nazareth.
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There's a fine line between a numerator and denominator.

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I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day

but I couldn't find any.

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Were does a boat go when it is sick?

To the dock.
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What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a red car?
A red carnation.
What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a pink car?
A pink car-nation.
What would the country be called if everyone in it lived in their cars?

An in-car-nation.
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