What do basketball players and babies have in common?

They both dribble.
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Why did the computer squeak?

Someone stepped on its mouse.
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My first girlfriend was a tennis player but she broke my heart.

It was like love meant nothing to her.
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What is black and white and red all over?

A skunk with a rash.
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It’s Hans free.
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What do you call two ants that run away to get married?

Ant-elopes!
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El Chapo has offered $100 million dollars for Trumps body, dead or alive.

I guess that finally answers the question about how much Donald Trump is actually worth.
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What fish only swims at night?

A starfish.
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What did the snail say when he got on the turtle's shell?

Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
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What is the snake's favorite subject?

Hiss-story
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