What do bees do with their honey?

They cell it.
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What's black and white, black and white, black and white and green?

Three skunks fighting over a pickle

First dog: My master calls me Furball. How about you?
Second Dog: My master calls me Sitboy
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What do you call a smiling, sober, courteous person at a bar association convention?

The caterer.
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What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?

One is really heavy, the other is a little lighter.
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Why did the singer climb a ladder?

She wanted to reach the high notes!

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What's a royal pardon?

It's what the queen says after she burps.
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What did the sardine call the submarine?

A can of people.
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What do you call a mommy cow that just had a calf?

Decalfinated
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What do you see when you look into Trump's eyes?

Answer: The back of his head.
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Earlier this year I saw The Theory of Everything – loved it.

Should've been called Look Who's Hawking, that's my only criticism.
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