What do birds say on Halloween?

Twick o tweet
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What did the little boy's mom say when he asked her to buy him shoes for gym?

"Tell Jim to buy his own shoes".
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a bucket of manure?

The bucket.
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Why didn't the skeleton want to go to school?

His heart wasn't in it.
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Police arrested two kids yesterday, one was drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks.

They charged one - and let the other one off.

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Why does Trump love the poorly educated?

Because they only know their ABCs "Anybody But Clinton".
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What do you call a dog that likes bubble baths?

A shampoodle
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Kim Kardashian is saddled with a huge arse.

but enough about Kanye West.
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What is the strongest animal?

A snail because it carries it's home.
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