What do birds say on Halloween?

Twick o tweet
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Three people were in a boat. They all fell off. Only two people ended up with wet hair. Why didn't the other person's hair get wet?

Because he was bald!
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What did the little boy's mom say when he asked her to buy him shoes for gym?

"Tell Jim to buy his own shoes".
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What do you use to tie saplings to a piano so the saplings won't blow away?

Root position cords.

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Why was the ant so confused?

Because all his uncles were "ants"!
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What did the sardine call the submarine?

A can of people.
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How many referral agents does it take to change a light bulb?

Two: One to screw you out of a fee, and the other to send you to a store where they ran out of bulbs weeks ago.
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How many folk singers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two — one to change the bulb, and one to write a song about how good the old light bulb was.
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Silver walks up to Gold in a bar and says, "AU, get outta here!"
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