What do cats and dogs call Santa Clause?

Santa paws!!!
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What do you call lending money to a bison?

A buff-a-loan
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It’s Hans free.
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How many mystery writers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two — one to screw it most of the way in and the other to give it a surprise twist at the end.
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How many folk musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Seven. One to change it and the other six to sing about how good the old one was.
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How do you keep a skunk from smelling?

Plug its nose.
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What do you give a pig with a rash?

Oinkment.
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What do envelopes say when you lick them?

Nothing, it shuts them up!
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