What do cats and dogs call Santa Clause?

Santa paws!!!
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What do moms dress up as on Halloween?

Mummies!
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Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He was a baaaaaaaaad driver.
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What cheese do you use to coax a bear out of the woods with?

Camembert.
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How many charismatics does it take to change a light bulb?

Three - one to cast the bulb into the outer darkness, and two to catch it when it falls.
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How many fundamentalists does it take to change a light bulb?

None; the Bible doesn't mention any light bulbs.
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Who's richer — the butcher, the baker, or the candlestick maker?

The baker, because he has lots of dough.
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Trump: "Foreign Policy?,

if you mess with the United States, there will be hell toupee."

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