What do clarinetists use for birth control?

Their personalities.

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Red sky at night: shepherd’s delight.

Blue sky at night: day.
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Why do cows go to New York?

To see the moosicals
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What is the strongest animal?

A snail because it carries it's home.
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Why do fish live in salt water?

Because pepper makes them sneeze
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Why did the carpenter fall asleep on the job?

He was board.
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Why don't bears wear shoes?

What's the use, they'd still have bear feet
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How does a dog stop a video?

He presses the paws button.
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There was a rooster sitting on a top of a barn. If it laid an egg, which way would it roll?

Roosters don't lay eggs!
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What's in the middle of nowhere?

The letter H.
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