What do dinosaurs and decent lawyers have in common?

They're both extinct.
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How can a pregnant woman tell that she's carrying a future lawyer?

She has an uncontrollable craving for bologna.
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If you see a lawyer on a bicycle, why don't you swerve to hit him?

It might be your bicycle.
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What do birds say on Halloween?

Twick o tweet
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How does a penguin build it's house?

Igloos it together.
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Why was the mouse afraid of the water?

Catfish
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Why are ghosts so bad at lying?

Because you can see right through them!
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Why did the belt go to jail?

It held up a pair of pants.
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Making bad chemistry jokes because all the good ones Argon
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What do you call a fat pumpkin?

A plumpkin.
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