What do dinosaurs and decent lawyers have in common?

They're both extinct.
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I would avoid the sushi if I was you.

It’s a little fishy.
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How do you make a musician's car more aerodynamic?

Take the pizza delivery sign off the roof

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What did the necktie say to the hat?

You go on ahead. I'll hang around for a while.
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A Freudian slip is when you mean to say one thing

but you accidentally say Mother.
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What did the class clown take a computer to school?

Her mom told her to bring in an apple for the teacher.
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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to screw it in, and another to repent.

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Why didn't the skeleton cross the road?

He didn't have any guts!
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When do you go on red and stop on green?

When you are eating a watermelon.
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How do you know an elephant has been in your refrigerator?

There are footprints in the butter.
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