What do dinosaurs and decent lawyers have in common?

They're both extinct.
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That girl said she knew me from the vegitarian club,

but I'd never seen herbivore [her before]
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How many surrealists does it take to change a light bulb?

The fish.
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What did the flag say to the pole?

Nothing, it just waved.
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How many guitar players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five. One to change the bulb and eleven to say they could do it faster.

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What happened when the lion ate the comedian?

He felt funny.
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How many Wardrobe people does it take to screw in a light bulb?

"Nobody said I needed doubles on that!"
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Why was the cat afraid of a tree?

Because of the bark
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What is the snake's favorite subject?

Hiss-story
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Why shouldn't Donald Trump rag on illegal immigrants?

Because an undocumented worker has been living on his head for the past 2 decades!
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