What do Donald Trump and a baby have in common?

They both whine alot!
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What would happen if pigs could fly?

The price of bacon would go up.
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How many Psychiatrists does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one, but the bulb has got to really WANT to change.
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What do you call a smiling, sober, courteous person at a bar association convention?

The caterer.
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How many fatalists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

What does it matter? we're all gonna die anyway.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a vampire?

A vampire only sucks blood at night.
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What do you see when you look into Trump's eyes?

Answer: The back of his head.
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Why do pandas like old movies?

Because they are black and white.
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What fish only swims at night?

A starfish.
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