What do envelopes say when you lick them?

Nothing, it shuts them up!
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What is up in the air and wobbles?

A jellycopter
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Why was Cinderella thrown off the basketball team?

She ran away from the ball.
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What's worse than a centipede with athlete's foot?

A porcupine with split ends
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What has four wheels and flies?

A garbage truck.
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What has four legs and goes "Oom, Oom"?

A cow walking backwards
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Have you heard the joke about the butter?

I better not tell you, it might spread.
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The first time I met my wife, I knew she was a keeper.

She was wearing massive gloves.
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How many managers does it take to change a light bulb?

Nearly unanswerable, since the one who tries to change it usually drops it, and the others call for a planning session.
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What kind of shoes does a pedophile wear?

White vans.
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