What do envelopes say when you lick them?

Nothing, it shuts them up!
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Two girls were born on the same day, same year, same parents, except they are not twins. Explain:

They are triplets.
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Where do sheep get their hair cut?

At the baa-baa shop.
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What element is derived from a Norse god?

Thorium.
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And how come her cell phone bill was so high?

She was a Roman (roamin) Catholic
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I know loads of jokes about cash machines,

I just can't think of one atm.
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What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?

One is really heavy, the other is a little lighter.
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What washes up on small beaches?

Microwaves.
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When did the fly fly?

When the spider spied her!
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I've got a friend who's fallen in love with two school bags,

he's bisatchel.

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