What do envelopes say when you lick them?

Nothing, it shuts them up!
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How many big black monoliths does it take to change a light bulb?

Sorry, light bulbs are an evolutionary dead end.
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How many Agents does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Actually, agents will screw in just about anything.
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Why do cows go to New York?

To see the moosicals
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Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He made an illegal ewe turn.
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Why did the singer climb a ladder?

She wanted to reach the high notes!

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A man walks into a bar with a roll of tarmac under his arm and says:

"Pint please, and one for the road."

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Why is a skeleton so mean?

He doesn't have a heart.
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What do you do if your dog chews a dictionary?

Take the words out of his mouth
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What type of cars do elves drive?

Toy-otas.
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