What do envelopes say when you lick them?

Nothing, it shuts them up!
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How does a pig go to hospital?

In a hambulance.
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Knock, knock
Who's there?
Merry.
Merry who?

Merry Christmas!
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How do you make a hot dog stand?

Steal its chair.
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Why to lawyers wear neckties?

To keep the foreskin from crawling up their chins.
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What do you call a dinosaur that smashes everything in its path?

Tyrannosaurus wrecks.
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What did Donald Trump say to the birthday boy?

"Let me see your birth certificate".
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What's round and bad-tempered?

A vicious circle.
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There are 10 kinds of people in the world.

Those who read binary and those who don't.
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So the Pillsbury Doughboy's pants fell off and I..

feel really weird about donuts right now.
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