What do frogs order when they go to a restaurant?

French Flies.
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What do Michael Jackson and Malt Whiskey have in common?

They both come in tots.
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Two chemists go into a restaurant.
The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O."

The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" -- and he died.
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Why did the scarecrow win an award?

Because he was outstanding in his field.
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What has a bed that you can't sleep in?

A river.
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What goes 99 thump,99 thump,99 thump?

A centipede with a wooden leg.
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This graveyard looks overcrowded.

People must be dying to get in there.
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What kind of pants do ghosts wear?

Boo-Jeans.
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