What do ghosts use to wash their hair?

Shamboo!
Frankenstein: Witch can you make me a lemonade?
Witch: Poof you are a lemonade!
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What happened to the man who was stopped for having sodium chloride and a nine-volt in his car?

He was booked for a salt and battery.
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Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?

He got caught peeping on a test.
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What is a cat's favorite movie?

The sound of Mew-sic
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How did Noah see the animals in the Ark at night?

With flood lighting.
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How many cops does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. It turned itself in.
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How do locomotives hear?

Through the engineers.
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What is Claustrophobia?

The fear of Santa Claus.
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Why did the calendar write its will?

Its days were numbered.
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