What do ghosts use to wash their hair?

Shamboo!
Frankenstein: Witch can you make me a lemonade?
Witch: Poof you are a lemonade!
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What did the porcupine say to the cactus?

Is that you mommy?
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How many Macintosh users does it take to change a light bulb?

None. You have to replace the whole motherboard.
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What do you call a thieving alligator?

A crookodile
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Why did the cat go to Minnesota?

To get a mini soda
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How many sopranos does it take to change a light bulb?

Three. One to climb the ladder while the second kicks the ladder out from under her. And the third to say, "I knew that was too high for you dear."
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What do you call a dinosaur in a car accident?

A tyrannosauraus wreck
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What do you call a public servant who doesn't take crap from Republicans or Democrats?

Donald Trump.
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What do you call a baby bear with no teeth?

A gummy bear
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