What do ghosts use to wash their hair?

Shamboo!
Frankenstein: Witch can you make me a lemonade?
Witch: Poof you are a lemonade!
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Why couldn't the bicycle stand up by itself?

It was two tired.
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What does a skeleton say before dinner?

Bone appetit!
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What do you call a slow skier?

A slopepoke!
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How many Ukrainians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None, because people who glow in the dark don't need light bulbs.

Note: Topical to the Chernobyl Reactor disaster of 1984.
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How many graduate students does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Only one, but it may take upwards of five years for him to get it done.
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Went to the paper shop -

it had blown away.
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What goes 99 thump,99 thump,99 thump?

A centipede with a wooden leg.
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What is on the ground and also a hundred feet in the air?

A centipede on its back!
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