What do lawyers and sperm have in common?

One in 3,000,000 has a chance of becoming a human being.
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What makes music on your hair?

A head band!

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How many APL hackers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. There's a primitive for that.
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Who makes dinosaur clothes?

A dino-sewer.
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How many college girls does it take to change a light bulb?

That's "women," you unfunny jerk!
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What is the name of 007's Eskimo cousin?

Polar Bond.
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Whats the difference between a cat and a compound sentence?

One has claws at the end of its paws and one has a pause at the end of its clause
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What kind of cars do cats drive?

Catillacs
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How many grips does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two: One to hold it, one to hammer it in.
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It's Hans free.
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