What do lawyers and sperm have in common?

One in 3,000,000 has a chance of becoming a human being.
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Why do cows wear bells?

Because their horns don't work.

There were two cows in a field. The first cow said "moo" and the second cow said "baaaa." The first cow asked the second cow, "why did you say baaaa?" The second cow said, "I'm learning a foreign language."
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What is the difference between a locomotive engineer and a teacher?

One minds the train, one trains the mind.
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Did you know that oxygen went for a second date with potassium?
How did it go?

It went OK2!
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Why did the elephant leave the circus?

He was tired of working for peanuts.
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What do you call a mommy cow that just had a calf?

Decalfinated
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How many skunks does it take to make a big stink?

A phew.
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Where is a rabbit's favorite place to eat?

Ihop
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What does a witch use to keep her hair up?

Scarespray!
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Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?

On the bottom.
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