What do lawyers and sperm have in common?

One in 3,000,000 has a chance of becoming a human being.
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Why didn't the skeleton want to go to school?

His heart wasn't in it.
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Why do cows wear bells?

Because their horns don't work.

There were two cows in a field. The first cow said "moo" and the second cow said "baaaa." The first cow asked the second cow, "why did you say baaaa?" The second cow said, "I'm learning a foreign language."
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Why was 6 afraid of 7?

Because 7 ate 9.
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Why did the scarecrow win an award?

Because he was outstanding in his field.
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Trump: "It's not a toupee,

I just found the Bush that Jeb lost."
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Why did the student eat her homework?

Because the teacher said it was a piece of cake!
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What did the necktie say to the hat?

You go on ahead. I'll hang around for a while.
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Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?

He got caught peeping on a test.
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What did the candle say to the other candle?

I'm going out tonight!
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