What do lawyers and sperm have in common?

One in 3,000,000 has a chance of becoming a human being.
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A Bhuddist monk goes to a hotdog stand

and says make me one with everything.
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What is up in the air and wobbles?

A jellycopter
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What's worse than a centipede with athlete's foot?

A porcupine with split ends
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Red sky at night: shepherd’s delight.

Blue sky at night: day.
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Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?

It's fine, he woke up.
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How do you know the economy is only getting worse?

On the latest episode of "Celebrity Apprentice", Donald Trump fired himself!
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How can a pregnant woman tell that she's carrying a future lawyer?

She has an uncontrollable craving for bologna.
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How Many lead guitarist does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They just steal somebody else's light.
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How is a dog like a telephone?

It has a collar I.D.
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