What do lawyers and sperm have in common?

One in 3,000,000 has a chance of becoming a human being.
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What is a tree's favorite drink?

Root beer.
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How many Development Executives does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to take notes while the other screws it into the faucet.
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How many economists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to assume the ladder and one to change the bulb.

A': None. If the government would just leave it alone, it would screw itself in.
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It's Hans free.
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What did one flower say to the other flower?

Hey, bud!
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Sherlock, what are you doing with that 200lbs shrub?

It's not a shrub, it's a lemon tree my dear Watson.
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Why did the cow cross the road?

To get to the udder side.
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How do you stop a dog barking in the back seat of a car?

Put him in the front seat.
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What do you call a smiling, sober, courteous person at a bar association convention?

The caterer.
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