What do lawyers and sperm have in common?

One in 3,000,000 has a chance of becoming a human being.
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How many dadaists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

To get to the other side.
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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to screw it in, and another to repent.

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Why do chemists like nitrates so much?

They're cheaper than day rates.
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I wouldn't buy anything with velcro.

It's a total rip-off.
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What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car?

Carlos.
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Some people believe that becoming a vegitarian is just a mistake...

A Missed-steak.
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What is the most important subject a witch learns in school?

Spelling.
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What did the farmer call the cow that would not give him any milk?

An udder failure.
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What do you call a clown who's in jail?

A silicon.
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