What do lawyers and sperm have in common?

One in 3,000,000 has a chance of becoming a human being.
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What is the opposite of a restaurant?

A workaraunt.
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Why did the boy take a ladder to school?

He wanted to go to high school!
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Online money has recently been discovered to be a not-yet-identified super heavy element.

The proposed name is: Un-obtainium.
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Where do sheep get their hair cut?

At the baa-baa shop.
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What did the sardine call the submarine?

A can of people.
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How many musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and 17 to be on the guest list.
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What kind of band can't play music?

A rubber band.
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What do vampires take when they are sick?

Coffin drops!
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How many technical writers does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, provided there is a programmer around to explain how to do it.
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