What do lawyers and sperm have in common?

One in 3,000,000 has a chance of becoming a human being.
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How many Einsteins does it take to change a light bulb?

That depends on the speed of the change and the mass of the bulb. Or vice versa, of course. It just might be easier to leave the bulb and change the room. It's all relative.
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There were two cows in a paddock. One of the cows says, "moo"

and the other one says, "That's what I was going to say."
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What do you call a cold dog sitting on a bunny?

A chili dog on a bun.
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Where do orcas hear music?

Orca-stras
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A proton and a neutron are walking down the street.
The proton says, "Wait, I dropped an electron help me look for it."

The neutron says "Are you sure?" The proton replies "I'm positive."
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How do you catch a squirrel?

Climb up a tree and act like a nut
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What do you get from a cow at the North Pole?

Ice cream.
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How many Feminists does it take to change a light bulb?

That's not funny!!!
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Why did Mozart sell his chickens?

Because they kept saying "bach bach"!
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