What do lawyers and sperm have in common?

One in 3,000,000 has a chance of becoming a human being.

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Online money has recently been discovered to be a not-yet-identified super heavy element.

The proposed name is: Un-obtainium.
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How do you prevent a Summer cold?

Catch it in the Winter!

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What did the painter say to the wall?

I got you covered.
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What did the octopus say to his girlfriend when he proposed?

Can I have your hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand in marriage?
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How did Noah see the animals in the Ark at night?

With flood lighting.

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There's two fish in a tank, and one says "How do you drive this thing?"



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Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?

On the bottom.
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Did you know that you can cool yourself to -273.15 Degrees C

and still be 0k?
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A small piece of sodium that lived in a test tube fell in love with a Bunsen burner. "Oh Bunsen, my flame," the sodium pined. "I melt whenever I see you,"

The Bunsen burner replied, "It's just a phase you're going through."
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