What do lawyers and sperm have in common?

One in 3,000,000 has a chance of becoming a human being.
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Why didn't the skeleton want to go to school?

His heart wasn't in it.
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What is the chemical formula for "coffee"?

CoFe2
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I met a Dutch girl with inflatable shoes last week, phoned her up to arrange a date

but unfortunately she'd popped her clogs.

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How many folk singers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to change the bulb, and one to write a song about how good the old light bulb was.
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This graveyard looks overcrowded.

People must be dying to get in there.
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What do you call a slow skier?

A slopepoke!
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What is the strongest animal?

A snail because it carries it's home.
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What do you get from a bad-tempered shark?

As far away as possible.
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What has legs but doesn't walk?

A bed.
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