What do lawyers and sperm have in common?

One in 3,000,000 has a chance of becoming a human being.
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me
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What did one eye say to the other?

Between you and me, something smells.
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What do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question?

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What happens when spectroscopists are idle?

They turn from notating nuclear spins to notating unclear puns.
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What did Tennessee?

The same thing Arkansas.
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What do you call an exploding monkey?

A baboom
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What did Donald Trump say to the birthday boy?

"Let me see your birth certificate".
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How many economists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to assume the ladder and one to change the bulb.

A': None. If the government would just leave it alone, it would screw itself in.
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What part of a fish weighs the most?

The scales.
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