What do lawyers and sperm have in common?

One in 3,000,000 has a chance of becoming a human being.
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What do a viola and a lawsuit have in common?

Everyone is happy when the case is closed

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Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?

To reduce his carbon footprint.
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Which reindeer likes to clean?

Comet
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What happened to the man who was stopped for having sodium chloride and a nine-volt in his car?

He was booked for a salt and battery.
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How many guitar players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five. One to change the bulb and eleven to say they could do it faster.

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How many referral agents does it take to change a light bulb?

Two: One to screw you out of a fee, and the other to send you to a store where they ran out of bulbs weeks ago.
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Why couldn't the bicycle stand up by itself?

It was two tired.
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How are doughnuts and golf alike?

They both have a hole in one!
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What did one egg say to the other egg?

Let's get crackin'!
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