What do lawyers and sperm have in common?

One in 3,000,000 has a chance of becoming a human being.
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What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?

Frostbite.
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Why did the student eat her homework?

Because the teacher said it was a piece of cake!
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Why does a dog wag its tail?

Because there's no one else to wag it for him.
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What does Melania see in Donald Trump?

"Ten billion dollars and high cholesterol!"
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The first time I met my wife, I knew she was a keeper.

She was wearing massive gloves.
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What do you see when you look into Trump's eyes?

Answer: The back of his head.
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Why was 6 afraid of 7?

Because 7 ate 9.
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Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?

To reduce his carbon footprint.
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What do you call a king who is only 12 inches tall?

A ruler.
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