What do lawyers and sperm have in common?

One in 3,000,000 has a chance of becoming a human being.
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What do you call a cow that's just given birth?

[De-Calf-Inated]
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What do you call a loony spaceman?

An astronut.
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How do you make a musician's car more aerodynamic?

Take the pizza delivery sign off the roof

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Who can hold up a bus with one hand?

A crossing guard.
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What's the difference between a female lawyer and a pitbull?

Lipstick.
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What do you get when you cross a duck with a vampire?

Count Quackula!
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What is a parents favorite Christmas carol?

Silent night!
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Have you heard the one about a chemist who was reading a book about helium?

He just couldn't put it down.
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Why did the chicken cross the playground?

To get to the other slide!
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