What do lawyers and sperm have in common?

One in 3,000,000 has a chance of becoming a human being.
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What do you get when you drop a piano on an army base?

A Flat Major

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How many musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and 17 to be on the guest list.
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What is a vampire's favorite fruit?

A nectarine!
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How many editors of Poor Richard's Almanac does it take to replace a light bulb?

Many hands make light work.
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What is a lion's favorite state?

Maine
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What do you get when you cross poison ivy with a 4-leaf clover?

A rash of good luck.
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What does a cat say when somebody steps on
its tail?

Me-ow
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What is the name of 007's Eskimo cousin?

Polar Bond.
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What do you call a deer that costs a dollar?

A buck.
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