What do lawyers and sperm have in common?

One in 3,000,000 has a chance of becoming a human being.
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What do you give a pig with a rash?

Oinkment.
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Why did Lil Wayne go to the Doctor?

He was feeling a Lil Weezy

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Why is Superman's costume so tight?

Because he wears a size "S".
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If you drop a white hat into the Red Sea, what does it become?

Wet.
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What do chemists call a benzene ring with iron atoms replacing the carbon atoms?

A ferrous wheel.
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What kind of cat should you never play games with?

A cheetah
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What's green and loud?

A froghorn.
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Why can't hippos ride bicycles?

Bike helmets don't fit hippos
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What does Santa like to do in the garden?

Hoe, hoe, hoe!
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