What do lawyers and sperm have in common?

One in 3,000,000 has a chance of becoming a human being.


GOOD		CRAP

or

How many folk singers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to change the bulb, and one to write a song about how good the old light bulb was.


GOOD		CRAP

or

What do you call a man with a rubber toe?

Roberto.


GOOD		CRAP

or

How many members of the United Church of Canada does it take to change a light bulb?

How dare you be so intolerant! So what if the light bulb has chosen an alternative light-style?


GOOD		CRAP

or

I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day

but I couldn't find any.


GOOD		CRAP

or

Where do soldiers keep their armies?

In their Sleevies!


GOOD		CRAP

or

What does new age music sound like played backwards?

New age music.


GOOD		CRAP

or

Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly. But when they lit a fire in the craft, it sank,

proving once and for all that you can't have your kayak and heat it.


GOOD		CRAP

or

How many supporters of George W. Bush does it take to change a light bulb?

None. First, denounce the nearest Democrats as liberal pantywaists who deliberately caused the bulb to blow. Second, announce that the Bush administration has proved that the science of electricity is faulty, so no action ever needs to be taken on global light change. Third, keep the need for a new light bulb strictly secret. Fourth, use the money for new light bulbs as an excuse for another tax cut for Bush's wealthy friends. Fifth, explain that you would never "disassemble" about the need for light, you are way too busy spreading freedom and democracy in the Middle East by eliminating freedom and democracy in the United States.


GOOD		CRAP

or

How many Einsteins does it take to change a light bulb?

That depends on the speed of the change and the mass of the bulb. Or vice versa, of course. It just might be easier to leave the bulb and change the room. It's all relative.


GOOD		CRAP

or