What do lawyers and sperm have in common?

One in 3,000,000 has a chance of becoming a human being.
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What's the difference between a jellyfish and a lawyer?

One's a spineless, poisonous blob. The other is a form of sea life.
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What is a cow's favorite place?

The mooseum.
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How many music teachers does it take to screw in a light bulb??

None. music teachers can't afford lightbulbs.
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When do you go on red and stop on green?

When you are eating a watermelon.
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What kind of eggs does a wicked chicken lay?

Deviled eggs.
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Why did the singer climb a ladder?

She wanted to reach the high notes!

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What bird can lift the most?

A crane.
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What did the boat say to the pier?

What's up, dock?
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How do Eskimos make their beds?

With sheets of ice and blankets of snow.
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