What do lawyers and sperm have in common?

One in 3,000,000 has a chance of becoming a human being.
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What kind of flower has lips?

Two-lips!
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Why did the banana split?

It saw the ginger snap.
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Why does a dog wag its tail?

Because there's no one else to wag it for him.
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What 7 letters did Lizzy say when she opened the refrigerator and found it empty?

O I C U R M T
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Why do ducks fly south?

Because it's too far to walk!
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What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon
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What is the chemical formula for "banana"?

BaNa2
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What is the difference between a guitarist and a Savings Bond?

Eventually a Savings Bond will mature and earn money!

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What element is derived from a Norse god?

Thorium.
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