What do lawyers and sperm have in common?

One in 3,000,000 has a chance of becoming a human being.
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Why does Trump love the poorly educated?

Because they only know their ABCs "Anybody But Clinton".
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Some people believe that becoming a vegitarian is just a mistake...

A Missed-steak.
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What kind of phones do people in jail use?

Cell phones
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How do you open the great lakes?

With the Florida Keys.
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How many art directors does it take to screw in a light bulb

Does it have to be a light bulb? I've got this neat candle holder...
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What happened when the monster ate the electric company?

He was in shock for a week.
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What do you call a wheel made of iron?

A ferrous wheel.
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What is a baby's motto?

If at first you don't succeed, cry and cry again!
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What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a red car?
A red carnation.
What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a pink car?
A pink car-nation.
What would the country be called if everyone in it lived in their cars?

An in-car-nation.
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