What do lawyers and sperm have in common?

One in 3,000,000 has a chance of becoming a human being.
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How many Federal employees does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Sorry, that item has been cut from the budget!
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What do you call a thieving alligator?

A crookodile
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What is a pirate's favorite's fish?

A swordfish
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That girl said she knew me from the vegitarian club,

but I'd never seen herbivore [her before]
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What do you call a Disney Princess that supports Donald Trump?

Snow White Supremacist.
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What's the difference between a snow man and a snow woman?

Snow balls!
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What breakfast cereal does Frosty the Snowman eat?

Snowflakes.
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Why do cows wear bells?

Because their horns don't work.

There were two cows in a field. The first cow said "moo" and the second cow said "baaaa." The first cow asked the second cow, "why did you say baaaa?" The second cow said, "I'm learning a foreign language."
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What do you call a dinosaur that wears a cowboy hat and boots?

Tyrannosaurus Tex.
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