What do lawyers and sperm have in common?

One in 3,000,000 has a chance of becoming a human being.
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Why did the sea monster eat five ships that were carrying potatoes?

No one can eat just one potato ship.
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Where does a polarbear keep its money?

In a snow bank!
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Why doesn't Donald Trump sweat like Marco Rubio?

Because he has such yuuuuge fans!
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What did the baby corn ask the mother corn?

Where is pop corn?
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Why does a dog wag its tail?

Because there's no one else to wag it for him.
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Where do you go to find a million story building?

You go to the Library!
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Customer: "Do you have alligator shoes?"

Clerk: "Yes, sir. What size does your alligator wear?"
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What do you call a deer that costs a dollar?

A buck.
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How do you keep a skunk from smelling?

Plug its nose.
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