What do lawyers and sperm have in common?

One in 3,000,000 has a chance of becoming a human being.
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What is Donald Trumps favorite song?

ICE ICE Baby......
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Customer: "Do you have alligator shoes?"

Clerk: "Yes, sir. What size does your alligator wear?"
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How do you get a trombonist off of your porch?

Pay him for the pizza

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How many art directors does it take to screw in a light bulb

Does it have to be a light bulb? I've got this neat candle holder...
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Why does a dog wag its tail?

Because there's no one else to wag it for him.
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Why to lawyers wear neckties?

To keep the foreskin from crawling up their chins.
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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to do the screwing, and one to hear the confession.
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Why didn't the rooster cross the road?

Because it was chicken.
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What robs you while you're in the bathtub?

A robber ducky.
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