What do lawyers and sperm have in common?

One in 3,000,000 has a chance of becoming a human being.
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How many frat guys does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Three: One to screw it in, and the other two to help him down off the keg.
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How does a mouse feel after it takes a shower?

Squeaky clean
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What kind of shoes do bannanas make?

Slippers!
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How many technical writers does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, provided there is a programmer around to explain how to do it.
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What kind of mouse does not eat, drink, or even walk?

A computer mouse.
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How many Executive Producers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Executive Producers don't screw in a light bulb, they screw in a hot tub.
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Where do you go to find a million story building?

You go to the Library!
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Where do cows go on Saturday night?

To the mooooooovies.
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Why are ghosts so bad at lying?

Because you can see right through them!
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