What do lawyers and sperm have in common?

One in 3,000,000 has a chance of becoming a human being.
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Why is it that many lawyers have broken noses?

From chasing parked ambulances.
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When does New Year's Day come before Christmas Day?

Every year!
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And the mermaid, that was weird. What was she wearing in math class?

An Algae-bra
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What kind of music do planets sing?

Neptunes!
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What is black ,white and red all over?

A sunburnt penguin
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What did one volcano say to the other?

I lava you.
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A small piece of sodium that lived in a test tube fell in love with a Bunsen burner. "Oh Bunsen, my flame," the sodium pined. "I melt whenever I see you,"

The Bunsen burner replied, "It's just a phase you're going through."
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How many engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

First they have to agree on which is better; the analog bulb or a digital bulb.
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What did one ion say to the other?

I've got my ion you.
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