What do lawyers and sperm have in common?

One in 3,000,000 has a chance of becoming a human being.
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Does it take longer to run from 1st base to 2nd, or from 2nd to 3rd?

From 2nd to 3rd because there's a shortstop in the middle.
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How do you make a band stand?

Take their chairs away!
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a vulture?

The lawyer gets frequent flyer miles.
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Where does a polarbear keep its money?

In a snow bank!
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There were 10 cats in a boat and one jumped out. How many were left?

None, because they were copycats
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What do birds say on Halloween?

Twick o tweet
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Where do sheep get their hair cut?

At the baa-baa shop.
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If H20 is water, what is H204?

Drinking, bathing, washing, swimming, etc.
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What is Claustrophobia?

The fear of Santa Claus.
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