What do lawyers and sperm have in common?

One in 3,000,000 has a chance of becoming a human being.
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Which 2 food groups make up Donald Trumps diet?

Meat and Democrats!
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What is a cat's favorite movie?

The sound of Mew-sic
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What is the difference between a locomotive engineer and a teacher?

One minds the train, one trains the mind.
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How do you make Holy water?

Take regular water and just boil the hell out of it.
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What is the quietest kind of a dog?

A hush puppy.
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What's green and loud?

A froghorn.
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What do chemists call a benzene ring with iron atoms replacing the carbon atoms?

A ferrous wheel.
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Why should we call the President, Donald "Duck" Trump?

Because you better duck when he's pissed.
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What do you call a Disney Princess that supports Donald Trump?

Snow White Supremacist.
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