What do lawyers and sperm have in common?

One in 3,000,000 has a chance of becoming a human being.
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So I went to the Chinese restaurant and this duck came up to me with a red rose and says "Your eyes sparkle like diamonds".

I said, "Waiter, I asked for a-ROMATIC duck".
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I used to work in a shoe recycling shop.

It was sole destroying.
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What do you call a girl with a frog on her head?

Lilly.
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Why did Mickey Mouse get whacked in the head?

coz Donald ducked
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How many editors of Poor Richard's Almanac does it take to replace a light bulb?

Many hands make light work.
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A small piece of sodium that lived in a test tube fell in love with a Bunsen burner. "Oh Bunsen, my flame," the sodium pined. "I melt whenever I see you,"

The Bunsen burner replied, "It's just a phase you're going through."
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Why did God make snakes just before lawyers?

To practice.
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What do bees do with their honey?

They cell it.
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Why did the sun go to school?

To get brighter!
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