What do lawyers and sperm have in common?

One in 3,000,000 has a chance of becoming a human being.
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How many investment brokers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to take out the bulb and drop it, and the other to try and sell it before it crashes.
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How many database people does it take to change a light bulb?

Three: one to write the light bulb removal program, one to write the light bulb insertion program, and one to act as a light bulb administrator to make sure nobody else tries to change the light bulb at the same time.
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Why was the vacationing doctor so mad?

He had no patients.
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A duck, a skunk and a deer went out for dinner at a restaurant one night.

When it came time to pay, the skunk didn't have a scent, the deer didn't have a buck so they put the meal on the duck's bill.
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What kind of balls do dragons play soccer with?

Fireballs.
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What is a frog's favorite year?

Leap Year
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Why does a dog wag its tail?

Because there's no one else to wag it for him.
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What did the little girl say when she had to choose between a tricycle and a candy bar?

"Trike or Treat"?
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Making bad chemistry jokes because all the good ones Argon
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