What do lawyers and sperm have in common?

One in 3,000,000 has a chance of becoming a human being.
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How many tenors does it take to change a light bulb?

Four. One to change the bulb and three to whine "It's too high"
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Whenever I get to Edinburgh, I'm reminded of the definition of a gentleman.

It's someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
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They're always telling me to live my dreams.

But I don't want to be naked in an exam I haven't revised for.
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Why does everybody like Frosty the Snowman?

Because he is so cool!
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What did one cow say to the other?

Mooooooove over
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How do you make a hot dog stand?

Steal its chair.
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What do you call a dog that likes bubble baths?

A shampoodle
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How many Feminists does it take to change a light bulb?

That's not funny!!!
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What do you do if your dog chews a dictionary?

Take the words out of his mouth
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