What do lawyers and sperm have in common?

One in 3,000,000 has a chance of becoming a human being.
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What did the painter say to the wall?

I got you covered.
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What do moms dress up as on Halloween?

Mummies!
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What did the picture say to the wall?

I've been framed!
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Why did God invent lawyers?

So that real estate agents would have someone to look down on.
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How do you know an elephant has been in your refrigerator?

There are footprints in the butter.
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Does it take longer to run from 1st base to 2nd, or from 2nd to 3rd?

From 2nd to 3rd because there's a shortstop in the middle.
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How is a dog like a telephone?

It has a collar I.D.
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Why can't hippos ride bicycles?

Bike helmets don't fit hippos
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How many big black monoliths does it take to change a light bulb?

Sorry, light bulbs are an evolutionary dead end.
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