What do lawyers and sperm have in common?

One in 3,000,000 has a chance of becoming a human being.
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Why do they bury lawyers under 20 feet of dirt?

Because deep down, they're really good people.
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What is the name of 007's Eskimo cousin?

Polar Bond.
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Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He was a baaaaaaaaad driver.
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What does Donald Trump say when he can't find his Viagra?

"The erection is rigged!"
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How do hair stylists speed up their job?

They take short cuts!
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Why can't Donald Trump be a Lannister?

Because he never pays his debts.
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What kind of cats like to go bowling?

Alley cats.
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What has 6 eyes but can't see?

3 blind mice.
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What do you call a messy hippo?

A hippopota-mess
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