What do lawyers and sperm have in common?

One in 3,000,000 has a chance of becoming a human being.
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How many members of the United Church of Canada does it take to change a light bulb?

How dare you be so intolerant! So what if the light bulb has chosen an alternative light-style?
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How many French Horn players does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, but he/she will spend hours checking for technical problems.
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I was having dinner with Garry Kasporov (world chess champion) and there was a check tablecloth.

It took him two hours to pass me the salt.
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What do you call a messy hippo?

A hippopota-mess
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What is as big as an elephant but weighs nothing?

Its shadow
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Why does a dog wag its tail?

Because there's no one else to wag it for him.
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What goes tick-tock, bow-wow, tick-tock, bow-wow?

A watch dog.
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What kind of cats like to go bowling?

Alley cats.
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What do you call the best butter on the farm?

A goat.
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