What do lawyers and sperm have in common?

One in 3,000,000 has a chance of becoming a human being.
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What do you call a cow that eats your grass?

A lawn moo-er.
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There was a rooster sitting on a top of a barn. If it laid an egg, which way would it roll?

Roosters don't lay eggs!
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What's black and white and red all over?

A blushing zebra.
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Why didn't the skeleton want to go to school?

His heart wasn't in it.
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What do you call a deer with no eyes?

No I deer
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What do postal workers do when they're mad?

They stamp their feet.
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Knock, knock
Who's there?
Merry.
Merry who?

Merry Christmas!
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How many hardware folks does it take to change a light bulb?

None. That's a software problem.
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What's the difference between a piano and a tuna?

You can tuna piano, but you can't piano a tuna

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