What do lawyers and sperm have in common?

One in 3,000,000 has a chance of becoming a human being.

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What do you call a man with a rubber toe?

Roberto.
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What do you call a pig who knows karate?

Porkchop

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What do ghosts use to wash their hair?

Shamboo!
Frankenstein: Witch can you make me a lemonade?
Witch: Poof you are a lemonade!
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What do you call lending money to a bison?

A buff-a-loan

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What' the difference between a lawyer and a boxing referee?

A boxing referee doesn't get paid more for a longer fight.

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How many Stuntmen does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Five. One to screw it in and four to tell him how bitchin' he looked doing it.

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What did the bartender say when oxygen, hydrogen, sulfur, sodium, and phosphorous walked into his bar?

OH SNaP!
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How do you prevent a Summer cold?

Catch it in the Winter!

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Why is Superman's costume so tight?

Because he wears a size "S".
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