What do lawyers and sperm have in common?

One in 3,000,000 has a chance of becoming a human being.
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A duck, a skunk and a deer went out for dinner at a restaurant one night.

When it came time to pay, the skunk didn't have a scent, the deer didn't have a buck so they put the meal on the duck's bill.
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What's the definition of a gentleman?

One who knows how to play the saxophone, but doesn't!

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What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car?

Carlos.
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How do you open the great lakes?

With the Florida Keys.
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What message did Bach have on his answering machine?

"This phone is baroque, please call Bach later."

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There are 10 kinds of people in the world.

Those who read binary and those who don't.
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What would happen if pigs could fly?

The price of bacon would go up.
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How do you stop an elephant from charging?

Take away his credit card
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How many astronomers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Astronomers prefer the dark.
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