What do lawyers and sperm have in common?

One in 3,000,000 has a chance of becoming a human being.
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What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a red car?
A red carnation.
What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a pink car?
A pink car-nation.
What would the country be called if everyone in it lived in their cars?

An in-car-nation.
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What did the momma buffalo say to her son before he went to school?

Bison
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What do you call the king of vegetables?

Elvis Parsley.
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What goes tick-tock, bow-wow, tick-tock, bow-wow?

A watch dog.
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Why to lawyers wear neckties?

To keep the foreskin from crawling up their chins.
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What does Donald Trump say when he can't find his Viagra?

"The erection is rigged!"
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How many Union Lighting Technicians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

It's not a bulb, it's a globe.
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What does an octopus wear when it gets cold?

A coat of arms.
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Why would Snow White make a great judge?

She was the fairest in the land.
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