What do lawyers and sperm have in common?

One in 3,000,000 has a chance of becoming a human being.
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You see my next-door neighbour worships exhaust pipes,

he's a catholic converter.


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What do you call a man with a rubber toe?

Roberto.
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What do cats and dogs call Santa Clause?

Santa paws!!!
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What did rural America tell Donald Trump?

You're Hired.
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What's the only difference between Donald Trump and Bozo the Clown?

Bozo The Clown has real hair on his head.
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Why did the opera singer go sailing?

Because she wanted to hit the high C's.
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Which reindeer likes to clean?

Comet
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How do you make a cello sound beautiful?

Sell it and buy a violin

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What is the strongest animal?

A snail because it carries it's home.
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