What do lawyers and sperm have in common?

One in 3,000,000 has a chance of becoming a human being.
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I've got a friend who's fallen in love with two school bags,

he's bisatchel.

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Why don't aliens eat clowns?

Because they taste funny!
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Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?

To reduce his carbon footprint.
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Clowns divorce:

custardy battle.
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What pine has the longest needles?

A porcupine.
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What is an astronauts favorite key on the keyboard?

The space bar!
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I tried nutella on some salmon

got salmonella.
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My pastor, he ate too many beans.

He had in his own pews.
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What did one hair say to the other?

It takes two to tangle!
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