What do lawyers and sperm have in common?

One in 3,000,000 has a chance of becoming a human being.
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Whenever I get to Edinburgh, I'm reminded of the definition of a gentleman.

It's someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
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How many PA' does it take to screw in a light bulb?

What's a light bulb?
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How many Ukrainians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None, because people who glow in the dark don't need light bulbs.

Note: Topical to the Chernobyl Reactor disaster of 1984.
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What is King Arthur's favorite fish?

A swordfish
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What did the picture say to the wall?

I've been framed!
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What's a dog's favorite food for breakfast?

Pooched eggs.
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What is a horse's favorite sport?

Stable tennis
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What has ears like a cat and a tail like a cat, but is not a cat?

A kitten.
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Where do horses live?

In the neigh-borhood.
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