What do lawyers and sperm have in common?

One in 3,000,000 has a chance of becoming a human being.
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Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?

On the bottom.
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Where do you put barking dogs?

In a barking lot.
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Where do cows go on Saturday night?

To the mooooooovies.
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What do you get from a cow at the North Pole?

Ice cream.
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What do you call a sleeping bull?

A bulldozer
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Went to the paper shop -

it had blown away.
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What do you call a cow that plays a musical instrument?

A Moo-sician!

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A Bhuddist monk goes to a hotdog stand

and says make me one with everything.
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Why did they kick cinderella off the baseball team?

She kept running away from the ball.
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