What do lawyers and sperm have in common?

One in 3,000,000 has a chance of becoming a human being.
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Why are babies good at soccer?

Because they dribble!
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Which is the most religious cheese?

Emmental...it's very hol(e)y...
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How many alto sax players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five: one to handle the bulb and four to contemplate how David Sanborn would've done it.
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What fish only swims at night?

A starfish.
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What bone will a dog never eat?

A trombone.
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What kind of cat should you never play games with?

A cheetah
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What time is it when 5 dogs chase 1 cat?

Five after one.
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What kind of cars do cats drive?

Catillacs
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What creature is smarter than a talking parrot?

A spelling bee!
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