What do lawyers and sperm have in common?

One in 3,000,000 has a chance of becoming a human being.
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What concert costs 45 cents?

50 cent featuring Nickelback

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What two things can you not have for breakfast?

Lunch and dinner.
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What's the slipperiest country?

Greece!
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How many art directors does it take to screw in a light bulb

Does it have to be a light bulb? I've got this neat candle holder...
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me!
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What did the laywer name his daughter?

Sue.
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Knock, knock
Who's there?
Merry.
Merry who?

Merry Christmas!
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What did one volcano say to the other?

I lava you.
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What kind of jam can you not eat?

A traffic jam.
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