What do lawyers and sperm have in common?

One in 3,000,000 has a chance of becoming a human being.
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I swear, the other day I bought a packet of peanuts, and on the packet it said "may contain nuts." Well, YES! That's what I bought the buggers for!

You'd be annoyed if you opened it and a socket set fell out!"

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What do you call a dinosaur in a car accident?

A tyrannosauraus wreck
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How many art directors does it take to screw in a light bulb

Does it have to be a light bulb? I've got this neat candle holder...
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How many 2nd AD's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Uh...standby, I'll check on that.
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What do fish take to stay healthy?

Vitamin sea.
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What does one bucket say to the other?

I am feeling pale today.
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What do you get if you cross an insect with the Easter rabbit?

Bugs Bunny.
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What do you call a lawyer with an IQ of 100?
Your Honor.
What do you call a lawyer with an IQ of 50

Senator.
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How many "pro-lifers" does it take to change a light bulb?

Six: two to screw in the bulb and four to testify that it was lit from the moment they began screwing.
None; the bulb will change itself when it is ready.
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