One in 3,000,000 has a chance of becoming a human being.
or
Because sometimes you can get rid of cancer.
or
None. Bill Gates will just redefine Darkness® as the industry standard.
or
They both have trunks
or
Nearly unanswerable, since the one who tries to change it usually drops it, and the others call for a planning session.
or
if you mess with the United States, there will be hell toupee."
or