What do lawyers and sperm have in common?

One in 3,000,000 has a chance of becoming a human being.
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What do you get when you cross a witch with sand?

A sandwich!
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Which 2 food groups make up Donald Trumps diet?

Meat and Democrats!
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Why is b always cool?

Because it's between ac.
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Why does a giraffe have such a long neck?

Because his feet stink
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How many Carl Sagans does it take to change a light bulb?

Billllyuns and billllyuns. Light bulbs are part of the interstellar "goo" that pervades our universe; they are star stuff.
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What did the bartender say when oxygen, hydrogen, sulfur, sodium, and phosphorous walked into his bar?

OH SNaP!
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What do you call a cow with no legs?

Ground beef.
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There's two fish in a tank, and one says "How do you drive this thing?"
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Why don't lawyers go to the beach?

Cats keep trying to bury them.
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