What do lawyers and sperm have in common?

One in 3,000,000 has a chance of becoming a human being.
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What happens when spectroscopists are idle?

They turn from notating nuclear spins to notating unclear puns.
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What is the chemical formula for "banana"?

BaNa2
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What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon
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What's the definition of a minor second?

Two flutes playing in unison.

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What is a cow's favorite place?

The mooseum.
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Humpty Trumpty wants a great wall.

Humpty Trumpty wants Mexico to pay for it all.
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How do you stop an elephant from charging?

Take away his credit card
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Why couldn't the bicycle stand up by itself?

It was two tired.
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What did the peanut say to the elephant?

Nothing, peanuts don't talk.
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