What do lawyers and sperm have in common?

One in 3,000,000 has a chance of becoming a human being.
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How did the egg cross the road?

It scrambled across!
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What do you call a bankrupt Santa?

Saint Nickel-less.
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Want to hear a joke about construction?

I'm still working on it.
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What pine has the longest needles?

A porcupine.
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What's black and white, black and white, black and white and green?

Three skunks fighting over a pickle

First dog: My master calls me Furball. How about you?
Second Dog: My master calls me Sitboy
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Middle C, E-Flat and G walk into a bar.

Sorry, says the barman, we don't serve minors.
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Why did Mozart sell his chickens?

Because they kept saying "bach bach"!
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What is a frog's favorite year?

Leap Year
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What do you call a movie about Donald Trump, Bernie Madoff, and Kenneth Lay?

The League of Extraordinary Con Men.
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