What do lawyers and sperm have in common?

One in 3,000,000 has a chance of becoming a human being.
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Where do ghosts buy their food?

At the ghost-ery store!
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Humpty Trumpty wants a great wall.

Humpty Trumpty wants Mexico to pay for it all.
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How do you make a cello sound beautiful?

Sell it and buy a violin

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How do crows stick together in a flock?

Velcrow.
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What do you call an exploding monkey?

A baboom
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What do you give a sick bird?

Tweetment.
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What does an octopus wear when it gets cold?

A coat of arms.
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What is a ghost's favorite pie?

Booberry pie!
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How can a pregnant woman tell that she's carrying a future lawyer?

She has an uncontrollable craving for bologna.
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