What do lawyers and sperm have in common?

One in 3,000,000 has a chance of becoming a human being.
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The first time I met my wife, I knew she was a keeper.

She was wearing massive gloves.
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what do you call a tick on the moon?

A luna-tick
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Where are cars most likely to get flat tires?

At forks in the road.
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What do lawyers wear in court?

Lawsuits.
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Why couldn't the bicycle stand up by itself?

It was two tired.
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It's Hans free.
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If you see a lawyer on a bicycle, why don't you swerve to hit him?

It might be your bicycle.
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It's Hans free.
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How many fatalists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

What does it matter? we're all gonna die anyway.
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