What do lawyers wear in court?

Lawsuits.
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"Dyslexic man walks into a bra"
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How do you stop a dog barking in the back seat of a car?

Put him in the front seat.
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How many cops does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. It turned itself in.
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How do you make a million dollars singing jazz?

Start with two million.

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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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I met a Dutch girl with inflatable shoes last week, phoned her up to arrange a date

but unfortunately she'd popped her clogs.

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Why are lawyers like nuclear weapons?

If one side has one, the other side has to get one. Once launched, they cannot be recalled. When they land, they screw up everything forever.
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Why does the law society prohibit sex between lawyers and their clients?

To prevent clients from being billed twice for essentially the same service.
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What do frogs order when they go to a restaurant?

French Flies.
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