What do lawyers wear in court?

Lawsuits.
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Where do ghosts buy their food?

At the ghost-ery store!
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What do you call a deer with no eyes?

No I deer
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How do you prevent a Summer cold?

Catch it in the Winter!
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Why didn't the skeleton want to go to school?

His heart wasn't in it.
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How many drummers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They have machines to do that now.
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How many frat guys does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Three: One to screw it in, and the other two to help him down off the keg.
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What does the toast wear to bed?

Jammies!
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What do you get when you cross a stream and a brook?

Wet feet.
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How many IBM engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They just let Marketing explain that "Dead Bulb" is a feature.
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