What do lawyers wear in court?

Lawsuits.
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Did you know that oxygen went for a second date with potassium?
How did it go?

It went OK2!
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How many technical writers does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, provided there is a programmer around to explain how to do it.
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What is the best thing to do if you find a gorilla in your bed?

Sleep somewhere else.
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How many UNIX hacks does it take to change a light bulb?

As many as you want; they're all virtual anyway.
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How many socialists does it take to change a light bulb?

One to petition the Ministry of Light for a bulb, 50 to establish the state production quota, 200 militia to force the factory unions to allow production of the bulb, and one to surreptitiously dial an "800" number to order an American light bulb.
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Can you say Richard and Robert had a rabbit without using the "r" sound?

Sure, Dick and Bob had a bunny!
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What element is a girl's future best friend?

Carbon.
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What is up in the air and wobbles?

A jellycopter
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What's worse than a worm in your apple?

Half a worm.
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