What do lawyers wear in court?

Lawsuits.
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How many charismatics does it take to change a light bulb?

Three - one to cast the bulb into the outer darkness, and two to catch it when it falls.
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Where do horses live?

In the neigh-borhood.
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What does Donald Trump say when he can't find his Viagra?

"The erection is rigged!"
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Where do all the letters sleep?

In the alphabed.
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What does cheese say to itself in the mirror?

Halloumi.
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What's the difference between a jellyfish and a lawyer?

One's a spineless, poisonous blob. The other is a form of sea life.
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What nails do carpenters hate to hit?

Fingernails.
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There was a man who entered a local paper's pun contest.. He sent in ten different puns, in the hope that at least one of the puns would win.

Unfortunately, no pun in ten did.
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What does a witch use to keep her hair up?

Scarespray!
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