What do lawyers wear in court?

Lawsuits.
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Where do fish keep their money?

In a river bank
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What do you call a snarky criminal going down the stairs?

[A Condesending con descending]
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What do you see when you look into Trump's eyes?

Answer: The back of his head.
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How many bass clarinetists does it take to change a light bulb?

All of them
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Why is the French horn the most divine instrument?

Man blows into it, but God only knows what comes out

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What is a cat's favorite breakfast?

Mice krispies
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Why do fish live in salt water?

Because pepper makes them sneeze
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Why did the football coach go to the bank?

To get his quarterback.
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What's the difference between a female lawyer and a pitbull?

Lipstick.
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