What do Michael Jackson and Malt Whiskey have in common?

They both come in tots.
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How many folk singers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two — one to change the bulb, and one to write a song about how good the old light bulb was.
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What do you get when you cross poison ivy with a 4-leaf clover?

A rash of good luck.
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What did rural America tell Donald Trump?

You're Hired.
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What did the momma buffalo say to her son before he went to school?

Bison
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What has a head but no body?

A nail.
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What does GOP stand for?

Grabs Our Pussy.
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Where do mice park their boats?

At the hickory dickory dock.
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Why is Superman's costume so tight?

Because he wears a size "S".
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What fish only swims at night?

A starfish.
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