What do Michael Jackson and Malt Whiskey have in common?

They both come in tots.
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What part of a fish weighs the most?

The scales.
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Why do fish live in salt water?

Because pepper makes them sneeze
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What do you call a movie about Donald Trump, Bernie Madoff, and Kenneth Lay?

The League of Extraordinary Con Men.
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What did the banana do when the monkey chased it?

The banana split
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What do chemists call a benzene ring with iron atoms replacing the carbon atoms?

A ferrous wheel.
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How many Executive Producers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Executive Producers don't screw in a light bulb, they screw in a hot tub.
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If minorities have the race card and women have the gender card, what do rednecks have?

The Trump Card
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Why did the singer climb a ladder?

She wanted to reach the high notes!

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Why did the scarecrow win an award?

Because he was outstanding in his field.
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