What do Michael Jackson and Malt Whiskey have in common?

They both come in tots.
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What has holes all over and holds water?

A sponge!
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What did the sardine call the submarine?

A can of people.
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How many charismatics does it take to change a light bulb?

Three - one to cast the bulb into the outer darkness, and two to catch it when it falls.
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What do you call a cow that eats your grass?

A lawn moo-er.
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What element is derived from a Norse god?

Thorium.
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What's the difference between Donald Trump and Ronald Reagan?

If Trump gets Alzheimers his IQ will go up.
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What do you call a dinosaur that never gives up?

A try and try and try-ceratops
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What do moms dress up as on Halloween?

Mummies!
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What did the sardine call the submarine?

A can of people.
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