What do Michael Jackson and Malt Whiskey have in common?

They both come in tots.
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How is Donald Trump going to shut down the Department of Education?

By renaming it Trump University.
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How can a pregnant woman tell that she's carrying a future lawyer?

She has an uncontrollable craving for bologna.
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What do you give a lemon in distress?

Lemonade.
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How many fire safety guys dose it take to screw in a light bulb?

One -- but it's an 8 hour minimum.
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What do you call a tooth in a glass of water?

One molar solution.
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What do fish take to stay healthy?

Vitamin sea.
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What' the difference between a lawyer and a boxing referee?

A boxing referee doesn't get paid more for a longer fight.
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If you drop a white hat into the Red Sea, what does it become?

Wet.
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How many law professors does it take to change a light bulb?

Hell, you need 250 just to lobby for the research grant.
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