What do Michael Jackson and x-boxs have in common?

They're both plastic and little boys turn them on.
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What's a puppy's favorite kind of pizza?

Pupperoni.
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When Susan's boyfriend proposed marriage to her she said: "I love the simple things in life,

but I don't want one of them for my husband".

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What kind of mouse does not eat, drink, or even walk?

A computer mouse.
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What do Santa's elves drive?

Minivans.
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What did the little boy's mom say when he asked her to buy him shoes for gym?

"Tell Jim to buy his own shoes".
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There's two fish in a tank, and one says "How do you drive this thing?"
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I know loads of jokes about cash machines,

I just can't think of one atm.
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Does it take longer to run from 1st base to 2nd, or from 2nd to 3rd?

From 2nd to 3rd because there's a shortstop in the middle.
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I’ve never gone to a gun range before.

I decided to give it a shot!
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