What do Michael Jackson and x-boxs have in common?

They're both plastic and little boys turn them on.
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Why did the bird get a ticket?

It broke the law of gravity!
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Which reindeer likes to clean?

Comet
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What's the difference between an accountant and a lawyer?

Accountants know they're boring.
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What do chemists call a benzene ring with iron atoms replacing the carbon atoms?

A ferrous wheel.
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What do you give a pig with a rash?

Oinkment.
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How do you know Donald Trump is talking to you?

Cause your the only one Hair.
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What kind of dogs do chemists have?

Laboratory Retrievers
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Where do fish keep their money?

In a river bank
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Why do fish live in salt water?

Because pepper makes them sneeze
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