What do moms dress up as on Halloween?

Mummies!
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Why is a skeleton so mean?

He doesn't have a heart.
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How many Ukrainians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None, because people who glow in the dark don't need light bulbs.

Note: Topical to the Chernobyl Reactor disaster of 1984.
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What did the ghost say to the other ghost?

Do you believe in humans?
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I tried nutella on some salmon

got salmonella.
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Who makes the best cake on a baseball team?

The batter.
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What do you get when you cross a duck with a vampire?

Count Quackula!
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What kind of ties can't you wear?

Railroad ties.
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How many bass clarinetists does it take to change a light bulb?

All of them
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