What do moms dress up as on Halloween?

Mummies!
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What' the difference between a lawyer and a boxing referee?

A boxing referee doesn't get paid more for a longer fight.
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H2O is water and H2O2 is hydrogen peroxide. What is H2O4?

Drinking.
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What are pirate's favoite treat?

Chips AHOY!!
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What is the name of 007's Eskimo cousin?

Polar Bond.
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"Mommy, everyone says I look like a werewolf."

"Please be quiet and comb your face."
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What is the quietest kind of a dog?

A hush puppy.
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It’s Hans free.
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How many folk singers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to change the bulb, and one to write a song about how good the old light bulb was.
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