What do moms dress up as on Halloween?

Mummies!
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What did one egg say to the other egg?

Let's get crackin'!
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How is Donald Trump going to shut down the Department of Education?

By renaming it Trump University.
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What do cats and dogs call Santa Clause?

Santa paws!!!
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What do frogs order when they go to a restaurant?

French Flies.
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Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?

On the bottom.
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How do you make a fire with two sticks?

Make sure one is a match!
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What do Russians use for napkins?

Soviets
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Why did the cow cross the road?

To get to the udder side.
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