What do planets like to read?

Comet books!
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How many singers from Nashville does it take to change a light bulb?

Four. One to change it, one to sing about how heartbroken he is at the loss of the old one, one to sing about how madly in love he is with the new one, and one to go "Yee-Hah!" and throw his cowboy hat in the air.
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Why did the chicken cross the clothing store?

To get to the other size!
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Went to the corner shop -

bought 4 corners.

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What did the alien say when he was out of room?

I'm all spaced out!
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Kim Kardashian is saddled with a huge arse.

but enough about Kanye West.
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How do you know the economy is only getting worse?

On the latest episode of "Celebrity Apprentice", Donald Trump fired himself!
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Why did the tree get a computer?

To log on.
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Why did the boy take a ladder to school?

He wanted to go to high school!
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What happened to the man who was stopped for having sodium chloride and a nine-volt in his car?

He was booked for a salt and battery.
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