What do planets like to read?

Comet books!
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What do you call a cow that plays a musical instrument?

A Moo-sician!

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What's the tallest building in the world?

The library, because it has the most stories.
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How many radical feminists does it take to change a light bulb?

That isn't funny!
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What goes up and down but never moves?

Stairs.
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How many alto sax players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five: one to handle the bulb and four to contemplate how David Sanborn would've done it.
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Why did the cat go to Minnesota?

To get a mini soda
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Why was the vacationing doctor so mad?

He had no patients.
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Why did the tomato blush?

Because he saw the salad dressing!
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How many grips does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two: One to hold it, one to hammer it in.
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