What do planets like to read?

Comet books!
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They're always telling me to live my dreams.

But I don't want to be naked in an exam I haven't revised for.
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How do you make a musician's car more aerodynamic?

Take the pizza delivery sign off the roof

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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me
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How many teenage girls does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One, but she'll be on the phone for five hours telling all her friends about it.
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What do you call a king who is only 12 inches tall?

A ruler.
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Two satellites decided to get married.

The wedding wasn't much, but the reception was incredible!
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What happened when 500 hares got loose on Main Street?

The police had to comb the area.
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How many graduate students does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Only one, but it may take upwards of five years for him to get it done.
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What do you call a dog with a Rolex?

A watch dog.
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