What do planets like to read?

Comet books!
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How many folk singers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to change the bulb, and one to write a song about how good the old light bulb was.
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Why do cows wear bells?

Because their horns don't work.

There were two cows in a field. The first cow said "moo" and the second cow said "baaaa." The first cow asked the second cow, "why did you say baaaa?" The second cow said, "I'm learning a foreign language."
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Why did the boy put candy under his pillow?

Because he wanted sweet dreams.
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How many technical writers does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, provided there is a programmer around to explain how to do it.
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What do you call a 400-pound gorilla?

Sir.
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What is King Arthur's favorite fish?

A swordfish
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What do you call a cow in a tornado?

A milkshake
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Where does a polarbear keep its money?

In a snow bank!
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How many militarists does it take to change a light bulb?

1,000,001: One to change the bulb and 1,000,000 to rebuild civilization to the point where they need light bulbs again.
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