What do postal workers do when they're mad?

They stamp their feet.
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What do you call a calf after it's six months old?

Seven months old.
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How do you make a cello sound beautiful?

Sell it and buy a violin

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What is the opposite of a restaurant?

A workaraunt.
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Four fonts walk into a bar

the barman says "Oi - get out! We don't want your type in here"

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What kind of fly has a frog in its throat?

A hoarse fly!
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El Chapo has offered $100 million dollars for Trumps body, dead or alive.

I guess that finally answers the question about how much Donald Trump is actually worth.
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How many lesbians does it take to change a light bulb?

Three: One to screw it in, and two to talk about how much better it is than with a man.
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How do crows stick together in a flock?

Velcrow.
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I'm in great mood tonight because the other day I entered a competition and I won a years supply of Marmite

......... one jar.
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