What do postal workers do when they're mad?

They stamp their feet.
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What is very funny and makes dogs itch?

The Flea Stooges!
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How many surrealists does it take to change a light bulb?

The fish.
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What airline does Donald Trump aspire to fly?

Hair Force One!
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There was a man who entered a local paper's pun contest.. He sent in ten different puns, in the hope that at least one of the puns would win.

Unfortunately, no pun in ten did.
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What do you get when you cross a blonde and a lawyer?

I don't know. There are some things even a blonde won't do.
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How does Donald Trump intend to spice up the Republican Convention?

By relocating it to a casino!
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How do you make Holy water?

Take regular water and just boil the hell out of it.
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What is a cat's favorite breakfast?

Mice krispies
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Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.

That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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