What do Russians use for napkins?

Soviets
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Who makes dinosaur clothes?

A dino-sewer.
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A young blonde woman is distraught because she fears her husband is having an affair, so she goes to a gun shop and buys a handgun. The next day she comes home to find her husband in bed with a beautiful redhead. She grabs the gun and holds it to her own head. The husband jumps out of bed, begging and pleading with her not to shoot herself.

The blonde responds to the husband, "Shut up...you're next!"
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Which 2 food groups make up Donald Trumps diet?

Meat and Democrats!
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Why is Superman's costume so tight?

Because he wears a size "S".
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Why did the pianist keep banging his head against the keys?

He was playing by ear

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Where do fortune tellers dance?

At the crystal ball.
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What do you call two banana peels?

Slippers.
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What kind of mouse does not eat, drink, or even walk?

A computer mouse.
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