What do Russians use for napkins?

Soviets
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What do ghosts use to wash their hair?

Shamboo!
Frankenstein: Witch can you make me a lemonade?
Witch: Poof you are a lemonade!
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Two aerials meet on a roof - fall in love - get married.

The ceremony was rubbish - but the reception was brilliant.

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What did rural America tell Donald Trump?

You're Hired.
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So I went to the Chinese restaurant and this duck came up to me with a red rose and says "Your eyes sparkle like diamonds".

I said, "Waiter, I asked for a-ROMATIC duck".
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What do you call a pig that does karate?

A pork chop.
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What is the most important rule in chemistry?

Never lick the spoon!
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What did the momma buffalo say to her son before he went to school?

Bison
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What did Tennessee?

The same thing Arkansas.
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