What do Russians use for napkins?

Soviets
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If you don't know what introspection is,

you need to take a long, hard look at yourself.
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What is Donald Trump telling all his supporters?


Orange Is The New Black.
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What did the little boy's mom say when he asked her to buy him shoes for gym?

"Tell Jim to buy his own shoes".
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When is a door not a door?

When it's ajar!
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What's the difference between a good lawyer and a bad lawyer?

A bad lawyer makes your case drag on for years. A good lawyer makes it last even longer.
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Where do mice park their boats?

At the hickory dickory dock.
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What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a red car?
A red carnation.
What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a pink car?
A pink car-nation.
What would the country be called if everyone in it lived in their cars?

An in-car-nation.
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My mother-in-law fell down a wishing well,

I was amazed, I never knew they worked.

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