What do Russians use for napkins?

Soviets
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How does an attorney sleep?

First he lies on one side, then he lies on the other.
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What do you call a cat sitting on the beach on Christmas Eve?

Sandy Claws.
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El Chapo has offered $100 million dollars for Trumps body, dead or alive.

I guess that finally answers the question about how much Donald Trump is actually worth.
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Some people believe that becoming a vegitarian is just a mistake...

A Missed-steak.
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How do you get a dog to stop digging in the garden?

Take away his shovel
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What's the difference between Donald Trump and Ronald Reagan?

If Trump gets Alzheimers his IQ will go up.
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What kind of dogs do chemists have?

Laboratory Retrievers
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How many teamsters does it take to change a light bulb?

``Twelve. Ya got a problem with that?''
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