What do Russians use for napkins?

Soviets
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How can you tell when a lawyer is lying?

Their lips are moving.
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If minorities have the race card and women have the gender card, what do rednecks have?

The Trump Card
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Where does a polarbear keep its money?

In a snow bank!
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Why did the tomato blush?

Because he saw the salad dressing!
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There's two fish in a tank, and one says "How do you drive this thing?"
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What has 6 eyes but can't see?

3 blind mice.
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I'll tell you what I love doing more than anything: trying to pack myself in a small suitcase.

I can hardly contain myself.

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What do fish take to stay healthy?

Vitamin sea.
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