What do Santa's elves drink?

Minnesoda.
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I'm sorry we can't let the elephants back into the public pool.

They keep dropping their trunks.
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What did one tooth say to the other tooth?

The dentist is taking me out tonight.
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What did the little girl say when she had to choose between a tricycle and a candy bar?

"Trike or Treat"?
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What do you call a pig that's been arrested for dangerous driving?

A road hog.
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What has legs but doesn't walk?

A bed.
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What's a puppy's favorite kind of pizza?

Pupperoni.
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What is the difference between a locomotive engineer and a teacher?

One minds the train, one trains the mind.
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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