What do Santa's elves drink?

Minnesoda.
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This graveyard looks overcrowded.

People must be dying to get in there.
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Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.

That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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What did the teddy bear say when it was offered dessert?

No thank you, I'm stuffed.
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There was a man who entered a local paper's pun contest.. He sent in ten different puns, in the hope that at least one of the puns would win.

Unfortunately, no pun in ten did.
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How many Feminists does it take to change a light bulb?

That's not funny!!!
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When is a car not a car?

When it turns into a garage.
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Why couldn't the pirates play cards?

They were sitting on the deck!
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What do you call a deer that costs a dollar?

A buck.
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