What do Santa's elves learn in school?

The Elfabet.
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What is a horse's favorite sport?

Stable tennis
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"I went to the zoo the other day, there was only one dog in it,

it was a shitzu."
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What do you call 25 skydiving lawyers?

Skeet.
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What part of a fish weighs the most?

The scales.
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Why does the Donald sleep with a potato in his briefs?

Because he want to wake up some day as America's First Dictator.
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Where are cars most likely to get flat tires?

At forks in the road.
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How many sopranos does it take to change a light bulb?

Three. One to climb the ladder while the second kicks the ladder out from under her. And the third to say, "I knew that was too high for you dear."
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