What do Santa's elves learn in school?

The Elfabet.
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Where are cars most likely to get flat tires?

At forks in the road.
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This graveyard looks overcrowded.

People must be dying to get in there.
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How do you catch a tame bird?

The tame way, unique up on it!
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Why did the dog cross the road twice?

He was trying to fetch a boomerang
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How many New Yorkers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None 'o yo' fuckin' business!
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How many Development Executives does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Well, first let's talk about the concept behind this whole "light bulb" thing.
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How many music teachers does it take to screw in a light bulb??

None. music teachers can't afford lightbulbs.
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