What do Santa's elves learn in school?

The Elfabet.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a trampoline?

You take off your shoes before you jump on a trampoline.
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What kind of ties can't you wear?

Railroad ties.
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What did the little boy's mom say when he asked her to buy him shoes for gym?

"Tell Jim to buy his own shoes".
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What time is it when 5 dogs chase 1 cat?

Five after one.
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What kind of phones do people in jail use?

Cell phones
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Why does a giraffe have such a long neck?

Because his feet stink
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When are kids most likely to go to school?

When the door is open.
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