What do Santa's elves learn in school?

The Elfabet.
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Why did the Christmas tree go to the barber?

It needed to be trimmed.
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What's the tallest building in the world?

The library, because it has the most stories.
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Helium walks into a bar,
The bar tender says "We don't serve noble gasses in here."

Helium doesn't react.
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What is always hot in the refrigerator?

Chili
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What did the picture say to the wall?

I've been framed.
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How many believable, competent, ``just-right-for-the-job'' presidential candidates does it take to change a light bulb?

It's going to be a dark 4 years, isn't it?
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How many Sound Recordists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

WHAT?
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