What do sea monsters eat for lunch?

Fish and ships.
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What does Melania see in Donald Trump?

"Ten billion dollars and high cholesterol!"
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What has ears like a cat and a tail like a cat, but is not a cat?

A kitten.
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What's the difference between a snow man and a snow woman?

Snow balls!
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What do you call a smiling, courteous person at a bar association convention?

The caterer.
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How Many lead guitarist does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They just steal somebody else's light.
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Which is the most religious cheese?

Emmental...it's very hol(e)y...
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What do you call a dog with a Rolex?

A watch dog.
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How many UFO buffs does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. You don't believe me do you? I've got photos! See that big blob? Well, just squint your eyes a bit. . . .
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Why did the melon jump into the lake?

It wanted to be a watermelon.
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