What do sea monsters eat for lunch?

Fish and ships.
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Why was the cat afraid of a tree?

Because of the bark
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Why are elephants wrinkled?

Because they don't fit on a ironing board
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Why does Snoop Dogg carry an umbrella?

Fo Drizzle!

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How many militarists does it take to change a light bulb?

1,000,001: One to change the bulb and 1,000,000 to rebuild civilization to the point where they need light bulbs again.
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The new band called 1023MB.

They haven't had any gigs yet
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What's the difference between a good lawyer and a bad lawyer?

A bad lawyer makes your case drag on for years. A good lawyer makes it last even longer.
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I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport.

I’m just doing it for kicks.
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How does Donald Trump plan on deporting 12 million illegal immigrants?

Juan by Juan.
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What do Donald Trump and a baby have in common?

They both whine alot!
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