What do sea monsters eat for lunch?

Fish and ships.
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How many guitar players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five. One to change the bulb and eleven to say they could do it faster.

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Why does a giraffe have such a long neck?

Because his feet stink
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Why did the tree get a computer?

To log on.
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What did one wall say to the other?

I'll meet you at the corner.
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What cheese do you use to coax a bear out of the woods with?

Camembert.
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Why are the middle ages sometimes called the Dark Ages?

Because they had so many knights.
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Why won't sharks attack lawyers?

Professional courtesy.
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How do you make a hot dog stand?

Steal its chair.
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What do you call a cow that's just given birth?

[De-Calf-Inated]
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