What do vampires take when they are sick?

Coffin drops!
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What is a horse's favorite sport?

Stable tennis
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I was in Tesco's and I saw this man and woman wrapped in a barcode.

I said, "Are you two an item?"

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What is a baby's motto?

If at first you don't succeed, cry and cry again!
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Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?

Because he was caught tweeting on a test.
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Why doesn't Melania Trump want to be the first lady?

Because she would have to move into a smaller house.
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What did the rug say to the floor?

Don't move, I've got you covered.
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What is the chemical formula for "coffee"?

CoFe2
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What kind of shoes do bannanas make?

Slippers!
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