What do whales eat?

Fish and ships.
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Kim Kardashian is saddled with a huge arse.

but enough about Kanye West.
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What do you call a cow that eats your grass?

A lawn moo-er.
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When should you buy a bird?

When it's going cheep!

Did you hear the one about the crow and the telephone pole?
He wanted to make a long distance caw.
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me!
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What is the chemical formula for "coffee"?

CoFe2
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What did one tooth say to the other tooth?

The dentist is taking me out tonight.
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What do you call a wheel made of iron?

A ferrous wheel.
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What's a light-year?

The same as a regular year, but with less calories.
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