What do whales eat?

Fish and ships.
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How many art directors does it take to screw in a light bulb

Does it have to be a light bulb? I've got this neat candle holder...
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How many actors does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one. They don't like to share the spotlight.
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Why does Donald Trump prefer E.T. to illegal immigrants?

Because E.T. eventually went home!
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Two chemists go into a restaurant.
The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O."

The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" -- and he died.
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What do you see when you look into Trump's eyes?

Answer: The back of his head.
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How Many lead guitarist does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They just steal somebody else's light.
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Why did the pianist keep banging his head against the keys?

He was playing by ear

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Kim Kardashian is saddled with a huge arse.

but enough about Kanye West.
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