What do you call a baby bear with no teeth?

A gummy bear
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How many Director's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Just one more, guys, I promise.
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Why can't you compare Donald Trump to cancer?

Because sometimes you can get rid of cancer.
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What does cheese say to itself in the mirror?

Halloumi.
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I'm on a whiskey diet.

I've lost three days already.

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Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?

Because he was caught tweeting on a test.
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Why do chemists like nitrates so much?

They're cheaper than day rates.
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Why to lawyers wear neckties?

To keep the foreskin from crawling up their chins.
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