What do you call a baby bear with no teeth?

A gummy bear
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Which 2 food groups make up Donald Trumps diet?

Meat and Democrats!
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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to do the screwing, and one to hear the confession.
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Why are lawyers like nuclear weapons?

If one side has one, the other side has to get one. Once launched, they cannot be recalled. When they land, they screw up everything forever.
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What do you call a rabbit with beetles all over it?

Bugs Bunny.
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Why don't aliens eat clowns?

Because they taste funny!
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How many football players does it take to change a light bulb?

The entire team! And they all get a semester's credit for it!
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A neutron walks into a bar. He asks the bartender, "How much for a beer?"

The bartender offers him a warm smile and says, "For you, no charge".
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