What do you call a baby bear with no teeth?

A gummy bear
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How many fatalists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

What does it matter? we're all gonna die anyway.
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How do you make a musician's car more aerodynamic?

Take the pizza delivery sign off the roof

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I tried nutella on some salmon

got salmonella.
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How do you make a goldfish old?

Take away the g
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Why did God invent lawyers?

So that real estate agents would have someone to look down on.
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How Many lead guitarist does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They just steal somebody else's light.
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How did the chemist survive the famine?

By subsisting on titrations.
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