What do you call a baby bear with no teeth?

A gummy bear
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How many law professors does it take to change a light bulb?

Hell, you need 250 just to lobby for the research grant.
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Why was the math book sad?

It had too many problems.
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Why are pirates great singers?

They can hit the high C's!

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How do you catch a squirrel?

Climb up a tree and act like a nut
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Why can't a bicycle stand up?

Because it's two tired!
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What washes up on small beaches?

Microwaves.
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How do you get a trumpet to sound like a french horn?

Put your hand in the bell and play a lot of wrong notes.

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