What do you call a baby bear with no teeth?

A gummy bear
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I thought about going on an all-almond diet.

But that's just nuts
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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What kind of mouse does not eat, drink, or even walk?

A computer mouse.
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What kind of table has no legs.

A multiplication table.
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How many Real Men does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Real Men aren't afraid of the dark.
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What did one cow say to the other?

Mooooooove over
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How many Holocaust revisionists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None: they just deny that the bulb ever went out in the first place.
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