What do you call a baby bear with no teeth?

A gummy bear
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Why does a dog wag its tail?

Because there's no one else to wag it for him.
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"My therapist says I have a preoccupation with vengeance.

We'll see about that."

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I thought about going on an all-almond diet.

But that's just nuts
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What goes on and on and has an i in the middle?

An onion
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What do Santa's elves drink?

Minnesoda.
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Want to hear a joke about construction?

I'm still working on it.
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Why did Venus have to get an air conditioner?

Because Mercury moved in.
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