What do you call a baby bear with no teeth?

A gummy bear
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How do you tell you're kissing a french horn player?

He/She keeps trying to stick their fist up your butt.

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How many agnostics does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Agnostics question whether electricity really exists.
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Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?

To reduce his carbon footprint.
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How many singers from Nashville does it take to change a light bulb?

Four. One to change it, one to sing about how heartbroken he is at the loss of the old one, one to sing about how madly in love he is with the new one, and one to go "Yee-Hah!" and throw his cowboy hat in the air.
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What can you hold without ever touching it?

A conversation.
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Where do soldiers keep their armies?

In their Sleevies!
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How do you make a musician's car more aerodynamic?

Take the pizza delivery sign off the roof

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