What do you call a bankrupt Santa?

Saint Nickel-less.
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What kind of dog has a bark but no bite?

A Dogwood
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Why did the turtle cross the road?

To get to the shell station.
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Why do you think Civil Disobedience was such a fantastic essay?

Thoreau editing Thorough.
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What does Santa like to do in the garden?

Hoe, hoe, hoe!
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Some lettuce, an egg, and a faucet had a race. What was the result?

The lettuce came in ahead, the egg got beat and the faucet is still running.
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What is the show cesium and iodine love watching together?

CSI
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How many football players does it take to change a light bulb?

The entire team! And they all get a semester's credit for it!
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Three people were in a boat. They all fell off. Only two people ended up with wet hair. Why didn't the other person's hair get wet?

Because he was bald!
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