What do you call a bankrupt Santa?

Saint Nickel-less.
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My phone will ring at 2 in the morning, and my wife'll look at me and go, "Who's that calling at this time?' "I don't know!

If I knew that we wouldn't need the bloody phone!"

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Did you know that you can cool yourself to -273.15 Degrees C

and still be 0k?
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What kind of eggs does a wicked chicken lay?

Deviled eggs.
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What kind of phones do people in jail use?

Cell phones
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How many Christian Scientists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

None, but it takes at least one to sit and pray for the old one to go back on.
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What do you call a boomerang that won't come back?

A stick.
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There's a fine line between a numerator and denominator.

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What room does a ghost not need?

A living room!
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