What do you call a bankrupt Santa?

Saint Nickel-less.
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Who did Frankenstein take to the dance?

His "ghoul" friend!
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What is a horse's favorite sport?

Stable tennis
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My phone will ring at 2 in the morning, and my wife'll look at me and go, "Who's that calling at this time?' "I don't know!

If I knew that we wouldn't need the bloody phone!"

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What do you get when you cross the Godfather with a lawyer?

An offer you can't understand
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What do you call a calf after it's six months old?

Seven months old.
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Where do you learn to make banana splits?

In sundae school.
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Where does a ten ton elephant sit?

Anywhere it wants to
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Where do cows go on Saturday night?

To the mooooooovies.
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