What do you call a belt made out of watches?

A waist of time!
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What do you call a thieving alligator?

A crookodile
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A neutron walks into a bar. He asks the bartender, "How much for a beer?"

The bartender offers him a warm smile and says, "For you, no charge".
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How is a dog like a telephone?

It has a collar I.D.
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Why are the middle ages sometimes called the Dark Ages?

Because they had so many knights.
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How many junkies does it take to screw in a light bulb?

``Oh wow, is it like dark, man?''
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How many teamsters does it take to change a light bulb?

``Twelve. Ya got a problem with that?''
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What is on the ground and also a hundred feet in the air?

A centipede on its back!
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What do you call a crate of ducks?

A box of quackers.
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What day of the week tastes the best?

Sunday!
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